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Can A-List Actors Save the Next Star Trek Movie ?

In a word:

No.

On the other hand, I think it could optimistically shoot for not being totally uncool. So… there’s that.

Apparent insider information from Paramount has the following Hollywood players attached to the major Trek roles in the next film, which will be the eleventh in the franchise:

  • Director: JJ Abrams
  • James T. Kirk: Matt Damon
  • Spock: Adrien Brody
  • Dr. McCoy: Gary Sinise
  • Sulu: Daniel Dae Kim (from TV’s Lost)

Pretty strong casting, if this turns out to be true. The only poor choice is Adrien Brody, but he’s a poor choice for anything except the role of a mopey, slack-jawed, semi-mute. Thanks to The Pianist, he’s already beat that role to death, so I guess he can go ahead and get the hell out of Hollywood.

How about Shakira or Penelope Cruz as Lt. Uhura? I mean, I know that character was an African American in the previous incarnations, but Star Trek has never given a break (as far as I can remember) to Latinos. Plus, why shouldn’t the communications officer have a barely-decipherable accent? Lack of irony, that’s why.

shakira.jpg

Capitan, the Klingon sheep ees trying to contact us, ok?

I’d also love to see Jerry Ferrara (or, Turtle from TV’s Entourage, as the rest of the free world knows him) as Mr. Scott. A short, sweaty Italian guy in the engine room doing an Irish accent. Pure entertainment.

turtle.jpg

Yo, Drama, you know I had my eye on that dilithium crystal first!

If Paramount were to go with this cast (including my suggestions) and JJ Abrams as director, I’d definitely go see the film.

Just not on opening weekend.

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1 comment… add one
  • nickolai February 28, 2007, 10:43 pm

    At the risk of exposing the true extent of my geekiness, I say that Star Trek in any form will always suffer the crippling flaw of being Star Trek.

    ‘Hey there’s a dangerous planet we’ve never been to before, let’s send down 90% of our thousand-person ship’s most senior officers to the surface to investigate, with nothing but phallus-like phasers.’

    As for Latinos in Star Trek, that experiment has already been done:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=8922TSH4aRg

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