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Microsoft Research Labs Introduces AIBO 3.0: Now with comedically dangerous rotor blades!

By Great White Snark | March 14, 2007

Meet AIBO ERS-7, the recent evolution of Sony’s robot dog, first introduced six years ago. The ERS-7 can recognize its owner’s voice and face, understand over one-hundred English phrases, respond to touch, adapt to its physical surroundings, and take pictures that it wirelessly streams to your computer.


AIBO: Because your real dog won’t let you shove batteries up its ass. You sicko.

The ERS-7 is s-o-o-o 2006. Bad dog. Bad.

Welcome to 2007. Microsoft Research Labs would like to introduce you to a proposed robot toy that taunts the ERS-7 for riding the short bus, and then points and laughs because “short bus” isn’t on the list of one-hundred words that AIBO understands.

I don’t know what’s more ridiculous: Bill Gates’ over-the-top shilling for Vista, or the idea of an attractive, hip chick following her life-long dream of building futuristic pet robots at Microsoft Research Labs.

Speaking of Vista… you think all the rules around digital copyright and fair-use are overly-stringent? Don’t even think about losing the unique Microsoft registration key to your AIBO 3.0. This son-of-a-bitch will slice your hands off and then phone the DMCA police to brag about it.


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  • Topics: Gadgets, Toys | 2 Comments »

    2 Responses to “Microsoft Research Labs Introduces AIBO 3.0: Now with comedically dangerous rotor blades!”

    1. Wavatar nickolai Says:
      March 15th, 2007 at 8:22 am

      Come on – that “hip chick” you’re refering to is obviously a Microsoft product herself. You can’t see that? I’d call her the Androgy-Droid.

    2. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      March 15th, 2007 at 7:19 pm

      Congratulations on being more jaded than me. And Microsoft doesn’t have the brainpower to create something that aesthetically-pleasing AND agreeable, so…