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Things I Know About Finland
By Great White Snark | March 23, 2007
Geeks pride themselves on their knowledge of broad and diverse topics. I happen to know more than your average American about Finland. Case in point:
1) There has never been a Finnish billionaire. I don’t know if they’re just not ambitious enough, or what their problem is, there just haven’t been any Finnish billionaires.
2) Finland is home to the 12th Air Guitar World Championships. No joke. Watch the documentary if you don’t believe me.
3) No Finnish politician has ever been assassinated. Now, I have no actual evidence to substantiate this bit of information… but I’m feeling pretty good about it, so I’m putting it out there. Feel free to work your fingers to the bone, plowing through Wikipedia as you try to prove me wrong.
4) Finland is ball-sack to the penis of the Nordic countries. Which, I guess, makes Denmark the ejaculate. But, still. Finland is the balls.
Balls.
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Topics: Offbeat News |
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:50 am
damn right we’re the balls! good, solid, supportive balls is what we are. also, in addition to the air guitar world championships, we host the annual world championships for wife carrying, mosquito swatting, mobile phone throwing, sauna sitting, boot throwing, swamp running and street crawling.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Yeah, but I hear you suck at the boot throwing one.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
ouch. that’s a painful-looking penis-scrotum combo.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:50 pm
oh and by the way, since I’m so busy at work, I was able to find this out:
Nikolai Ivanovich Bobrikov was a Finnish-born, Russian politician who was serving as the Russia-appointed Governor-General of Finland, when he was assassinated in 1904.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Ivanovich_Bobrikov
Yes I know I’m anal.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:00 pm
You know my challenge to find contradictory data on Wikipedia was directed right at you. Cheers for rising to the challenge.
Regardless, I stand by my assertion. Wikipedia is fallible. Meanwhile, my intuition is not. Look *that* up.
March 23rd, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Um, I’m one-quarter Danish. Thanks a lot.
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:14 pm
finland is gay.
March 23rd, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Where’s the love, Jesus? Practice what you preach, for Chrissake.
March 29th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
I lived in Estonia for a year. Yes - the Finns are an odd bunch. They are resilient drinkers and they suck at dancing.
Case in point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJj6d5QSYaE
and . . . http://lettersfromestonia.blogspot.com/2005/10/are-you-sick-or-just-dancing.html
For further information about Finns: http://lettersfromestonia.blogspot.com/2005/11/kes-on-kes-who-is-who.html
March 29th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Well, done, Timbo. Based on the submitted evidence, I am officially adding “Finns suck at dancing” as number 5 on my list.
March 29th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
if videos are what you’re into, then you should check out the footage from the world wife-carrying championships. the traditional prize is your wife’s weight in beer, so it’s a fine balance between having nicole richie as your wife (maximize your chance of winning) and anna nicole smith (pre-death) as your wife (maximize your winnings).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9B67frcmb0M
and of course the mobile phone throwing championships.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8kFst63ggU
March 30th, 2007 at 12:57 am
Addendum to #2: Since Finland doesn’t produce anything that’s actually useful, it hosts a bunch of silly international “competitions” that are too ridiculous to be hosted in other, more-esteemed countries.