Writing about anime got me thinking about the other areas in which the Japanese excel:

1. Producing bleeding-edge electronics devices.
2. Making super-reliable cars.
3. Running from Godzilla.
4. Convincing American celebrities to shill for Japanese products.

Regarding the last point, at least in American advertising there’s some sort of branding consistency between the shillers and the products. Beautiful actresses represent cosmetics companies. Athletes promote athletic shoes and apparel. Donnas mom from That 70s Show sells timeshares in Vegas.

No such constraints in Japan. Who best to hawk Suzuki motor-scooters? Early-80s era Michael Jackson, that’s who.

Enjoy these ten of my favorite gross displays of American celebrities selling out in Japan.

Shirtless Hulk Hogan, singing a senseless lullaby + brief shot of a baby = air conditioning units? Sure, why not.

Wait, is Michael Jackson winking at me, or is that just a mild case of Tourettes? Either way: weird. (I know, what else was I expecting from him?)

Ha! Are you kidding?! Madonna can only get away with this line in non-English-speaking countries.

Oh, Jean Claude. Your acting skills are laughable in any language.

Nicolas Cage was probably already numb to painfully bad career moves by the time he made this commercial.

Based on my understanding of body language, at the end of the commercial, I believe Harrison Ford is saying that he’s got diarrhea. Run, Harry, run!

Don’t even try to hypnotize me with your looney Scientologist dance, John Travolta.

It’s official. There’s no acting job that Ben Stiller won’t take.

Shout out to Bill Murray! Harry Connick says, It’s Suntory time!

Arnold Schwarzenegger doing a caricature of a caricature of himself. And… it is horrific.

Bonus entry: Shout-out to Vincent Chase of HBO’s Entourage.

Thanks to Japander for all the sweet content.

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