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The Top Five Reasons People Hate Bill Gates

By Great White Snark | April 12, 2007

You’d think that the richest man and most generous philanthropist on earth would get a bit of a halo effect from his accomplishments. Maybe even develop a bit of a mystique. But, no. It’s too difficult to get past the things that make Bill… Bill. Not the least of which is his utter nerdiness.

I mean, the dude gets a pie in the face when he visits Belgium. What grown-up still gets treated like that? Jesus, one can almost imagine Steve Jobs giving the poor schmuck a wedgie. Steven Hawking has ninja street cred next to this guy.


Is the “Humble Pie” joke too obvious, here?

So, in spite of his big brain, success, wealth, and contributions to the world, what is it, specifically, about Bill that makes him so loathsome and pathetic?

(Sadly, “loathsome and pathetic” are common qualities among many nerds. I’m looking at you, Trekkies. Or Trekkers. Whatever. Shut up.)

Recent examples demonstrate the top five reasons why Billy-boy can’t get no respect:

1. He has poor social graces.

Watch Bill’s exit from his interview on The Daily Show. His awkwardness will make you feel awkward, and the awkwardness then becomes exponential.

2. He is a shameless shill.

Bill has a bad case of, If I say it, that makes it true. Unfortunately, his exaltations of Microsoft products frequently fall short of reality. Subsequently, many of us think, If Bill Gates says it, it must not be true.

Bill, on the release of Windows Vista:

The reviews have been fantastic. This is a big, big advance in the Windows platform. It’s the world’s most used piece of software… Overall, the reliability feedback has been well better than we expected.

Quite high praise! Let’s see what folks who don’t poop gold bars have to say about it…

A reviewer at reputable technology site HardOCP.com spent thirty days with Vista and came up with this assessment:

Based on my personal experiences with Vista over a 30 day period, I found it to be a dangerously unstable operating system, which has caused me to lose data […] Any consideration of the fine details comes in second to that one inescapable conclusion. This is an unstable operating system.

Ruht-roh, Shaggy! A crack in the wall!

But what about other reviews? A study by Harris Interactive shows that as more people become aware of Windows Vista, markedly smaller proportions of people who know about it are interested in upgrading. The more that people know… they less they like what they’re hearing!

Ok, Bill, so let me take a shot at this shilling thing: “Bill Gates is funny, charming and handsome. He has the prettiest eyes, and his personality lights up a room.”

Let the reviewers have a go at that one.

3. He’s an egotist with a lame sense of humor.

Advertising Age recently interviewed Bill Gates. Inevitably, the interviewer asked him what he thinks about John Hodgman’s portrayal of Gateszilla in the Get a Mac TV ads.

Bill didn’t like that question. So, Bill gave him the silent treatment.

Yes, the silent treatment. It went like this:

GARFIELD: OK, well, Bill Gates, thank you so much for joining us.

(Silence)

GARFIELD: Can I just have a clean goodbye?

(Silence)

GARFIELD: OK, can you just say goodbye? Thank you or goodbye or something like that?

GATES: Goodbye.

Cock.

4. He can be bought.

A net worth of $56 billion doesn’t stop Bill’s eyes from lighting up when someone offers him a gift that’ll stroke his hyper-competitive little ego.

Example:

Harvard: We’d like you to speak at our commencement this year.

Bill: That makes no sense. I dropped out of your stupid school after two years. Now I rule the world, no thanks to you. In your face!

Harvard: We’ll give you an honorary degree.

Bill: What time do I need to be there?

5. He can be a petty little bastard.

MIT’s non-profit initiative, One Laptop Per Child, has a pretty noble mission: To produce computers at such a low price-point that they’re accessible and available to children in the developing world.

Nevertheless, Bill went out of his way to publicly deride the project. Oh, but only after the head of the project, Nicholas Negroponte, rejected Windows in favor of using only open-source software on the devices.

Bitter, much, little man? Could it have to do with your hot-shit ultra-mobile PCs selling tens and tens of units?

This is the same guy who, in the early 1980s, fretted over re-securing shares of Microsoft should his co-founder (Paul Allen, who was wasting away from Hodgkin’s disease at the time) die. Nice priorities, dick.

UPDATE: File this under “humorless”.

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  • Topics: Geeks | 41 Comments »

    41 Responses to “The Top Five Reasons People Hate Bill Gates”

    1. Wavatar Cindi Says:
      April 12th, 2007 at 3:24 pm

      Superb. As always.

    2. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      April 12th, 2007 at 3:34 pm

      I was shooting for “stupendous”, but I’ll take it.

    3. Wavatar nickolai Says:
      April 12th, 2007 at 4:12 pm

      I like how nonchalant the Microsoft entourage is about the pie “assault.” It’s almost too much effort for the blue-coated security-guard-looking guy to even give the fleeing pie-flinger a second glance.

    4. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      April 12th, 2007 at 4:16 pm

      Or the security guy is thinking to himself, “Yeah, that seems about right.”

    5. Wavatar Cindi Says:
      April 13th, 2007 at 2:11 pm

      I would have said “stupendous,” but I didn’t want you to get a big head.

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    30. Wavatar Harry L Says:
      May 14th, 2007 at 8:45 am

      He needs to take a lesson from Steven Jobs about developing a cult following.
      The funny thing is that Jobs has consistently tried monopolistic practices in his business but has been much less successful at it. But it has actually made him more popular.

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    36. Wavatar Georgie Echols Says:
      April 28th, 2008 at 8:32 am

      I am 57 years old, and I started on a Sinclair back in the early 80’s. I eventual graduated to a Windows PC and went through three of them until last year when I got SICK AND TIRED of the darn software hanging and the viruses that shut me down from browsing or receiving emails for weeks before someone at Bill Gates’s Shop made an anti virus program to clean it out. I was so mad one morning that I couldn’t get a fix, that I drove all the way over to the other side of town to a computer store called PeachMac and bought me one of those MacBooks (luckily it was no sales tax weekend.)

      I was really, really scared to learn it, as it was SO different to what Mr. Gates designed for us poor pleebs that I developed what I now think were severe “withdrawals” It took a little time (about a week) but I now have three G5’s (one in each bedroom) I am so happy I changed to the Apple system. I really do NOT like the Gates system at all. Thank God for competition. I was beginning to think I was living in Russia.

    37. Wavatar Nir@ Belt Buckles Says:
      July 30th, 2008 at 9:19 am

      Bill is a bliionaire… He is way passed the need of having people skills which i never think he had… LOL

    38. Wavatar matt Says:
      September 20th, 2008 at 11:15 am

      People hate bill gates for two reasons.

      1) He is a nerd

      2) He is really rich

      People are jealous because he is rich so they make fun of him.

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    40. Wavatar skye Says:
      January 22nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm

      There is only one reason everyone hates Bill Gates and thats because he hogs the market.

    41. Wavatar i dont know Says:
      September 22nd, 2009 at 11:07 am

      I hate Bill Gates, because he’s bringing shit to the market and buying every cool stuff that many people do with effort, also because he doesn’t even deserve to stay where he actually is.

      Bill Gates is a very intelligent cheater, so I’ll be glad if somebody can just make microsoft go down to bankruptcy.

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