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Can cartoons soften the faces of evil?

Thanks to the Face Transformer, I’ve been testing my previously-mentioned theory that producing a stylized-cartoon version of something can only make it better. As I suggested in that post: Much as a monkey makes anything funnier, fancy-pants animation can make the distasteful more palatable… even fun. Just look how the Clone Wars cartoons salvaged the Star Wars prequel storyline. They made pulling “cool” out of a crap-hat look easy.

To truly put my theory through its paces, I had to identify the special someone whose image would undergo the Face Transformer’s “Manga Cartoon” alteration. Someone whose presence gives you a bad case of fight-or-flight. Someone with a black, crusty soul. Someone seemingly irredeemable. Someone who would eat your baby to win an election.

Obviously, it was a toss-up between Dick Cheney and Sanjaya (a.k.a., “Sangina”) from American Idol.

Brace yourself for Cheney’s “before” picture:


Makes you want to cry yourself to sleep tonight, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, he can’t hurt you. Much.

Is Dick a little more lovable (or, at least, less loathe-able) as a cartoon? Survey says…


Hm. Mixed results. He’s a bit less scary, anyway. Assuming you don’t find a white-haired, bespectacled Gollum scary.

(Side note: I had a bit too much fun with the Face Transformer. Here’s Dick as a “drunk”.)


Well, now. Looks like drunk Cheney is fun Cheney. Too bad Bush is the one with the drug problem.

So how about Sangina?



Only Michael Jackson on his worst day can give me the creeps like this kid can.

Will his cartoon alter-ego help you put aside those feelings that he’ll molest your soul’s private parts if you look directly into his eyes?


Yikes. No luck here. I feel like we’ve played a record backwards, revealing the true, insidious message of the songs. Only, we’ve applied a visual filter to reveal a Devil child. Away, foul spirit!

Perhaps all is not lost for the cartoon theory. Let me try one more thing, with the “Apeman” filter…


Ah-ha! Just as I suspected! Even the nearly-infallible monkey-effect is negated by his evil Devil-powers. The cartoon theory remains intact.

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