George Lucas is going to make two more live-action Star Wars films. Why? Because:
- Sometime between receiving his latest seven-figure residuals check for Star Wars merchandise sales and seeing studio estimates for the gross ticket sales of Indiana Jones 4, he joined the rest of the free world in becoming a lot less keen on his producing “highly abstract, esoteric” art house films, and…
- He wants the terrorists to win.
George, arriving at the opening ceremonies of the Polluting of Formerly-Good Movie Franchises Games.
Ok, so this isn’t geek news that has “fallen through the cracks.” But it’s significant enough piece of geek news that it merits my reaction, here on the blog. Here goes:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! NO!
Why do you hate America, George Lucas? Why do you want all puppies to be sad puppies? Why do you want to piss on one of my generation’s most cherished childhood memories of cinema, even after you’ve kicked that memory in the shins (Phantom Menace), spit in its face (Attack of the Clones), and shoved it down into the dirt (Revenge of the Sith)? Why am I so bad at formulating analometaphorsimiles? Why? Why?
I guess what I’m saying is, If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
And what I’m hearing you say, George, is, Ooooh! Look at all the pretty money! Now I can finally afford the cloning technology that will allow me to create an Alec Baldwin nanny for each of my children!
UPDATE: More evidence that God loves everyone, including smarmy, blogging Jews. No more Star Wars movies!