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Randy Constan is a Freakish Peter Pan with Wrinkles

By Great White Snark | May 29, 2007

Often, when nerds throw their considerable energy into frivolous pursuits, we get spectacular results. Witness the fleet of elaborate, paper-model Star Wars ships, the clever, effects-laden lightsaber fight, and the Transformers costumes that actually transform.

On occasion, however, an errant nerd will miss the mark… by a mile. And where would such a nerd go astray? Why, in Florida, of course! The land where everything is astray.

Take Randy Constan, for example. This denizen of Tampa, FL has dedicated his life to becoming a real-life Peter Pan. He has the haircut, outfits, and Web site to prove it.

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Randy calls this his “everyday wear”. So try to imagine what his costumes look like.

What drives a 54-year-old man to act like such a fruitcake? (Nutty, that is.) A professed love of androgyny and service to “the God of Love that Jesus spoke of.” Charming. Randall, does your “service” officially include the ballet lessons you took to complete the effect of Peter Pan’s dainty-ishness, or was that on your own accord?

Randy, ever the self-cognizant one, says:

I know all this makes me a very silly boy!

That somewhat begins to describe it… which makes me wonder what pixie-dust he was snorting when he said this:

Of course life is not a game, and I do strive to continually grow in emotional, spiritual, and mental maturity.

Yes, I entirely agree, if by “in emotional, spiritual, and mental maturity” you mean, “my collection of unnervingly odd costumes.”

I urge you to check out his “fashion pages.” I anticipate that you will stare, slack-jawed, in disbelief.

 

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Fifty-four years old.

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  • Topics: Geeks, Offbeat News | 14 Comments »

    14 Responses to “Randy Constan is a Freakish Peter Pan with Wrinkles”

    1. Wavatar Cindi Says:
      May 29th, 2007 at 10:09 am

      I think I dated this guy.

    2. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      May 29th, 2007 at 11:35 am

      Oh, dear. I hope you’ve had your shots.

    3. Wavatar Cindi Says:
      May 29th, 2007 at 9:48 pm

      He said the “pixie dust” would take care of everything.

    4. Wavatar Cindi Says:
      May 29th, 2007 at 9:52 pm

      By the way, we may laugh, but this guy has been on the Jimmy Kimmel show, and Conan O’Brien. Clearly he has better PR than any of us.

    5. Wavatar Paul Says:
      May 29th, 2007 at 10:33 pm

      Nobody can be that obsessed with child like things and not be a child molester.

      No, that doesn’t count for toy collectors. hehe

    6. Wavatar Stephanie Says:
      October 18th, 2007 at 3:00 pm

      all i know this is way better then seeing another fucking goatse

    7. Wavatar Stephanie Says:
      October 18th, 2007 at 3:01 pm

      sorry about the swears.

    8. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      October 18th, 2007 at 3:33 pm

      Um. Interesting point, Stephanie.

    9. Wavatar Stephanie Says:
      October 18th, 2007 at 3:47 pm

      haha this site is where i saw my first goatse i guess i should’ve mentioned that to begin with im still a little disturbed.

    10. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      October 18th, 2007 at 3:49 pm

      I’m glad to say I’m 99% sure this is NOT where you saw one.

    11. Wavatar trent Says:
      July 3rd, 2008 at 1:38 pm

      i met this guy at a renaissance fair in irwindale last month. my friends were pointing him out but i had no idea who he was. when i went home and looked at his website i understood why they were excited.

      i started looking stuff up about him and found the funniest video of some comedians interviewing him.

      http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f31bdb2f34

      interviewer: was it a long flight from neverland to irwindale?

      peter pan: no we flew delta

    12. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      July 3rd, 2008 at 2:45 pm

      Thanks, Trent. Sadly, that was the one funny part of the video.

    13. Wavatar Michael Livingston Says:
      April 12th, 2011 at 5:13 pm

      A long time ago there were people who dressed and acted like this that could also drive a sword through you as well as look at you if you insulted them.

    14. Wavatar Jake Says:
      June 27th, 2011 at 10:09 am

      I want to run into this guy! Pretty hilarious!

    Comments