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Sony Beats the Dead Horse That is Starship Troopers

By Great White Snark | June 19, 2007

There were five things to enjoy about the original Starship Troopers film:

1) The sensation accompanying this statement: “Hey, that’s Doogie Howser! Where the eff has he been?”

2) The co-ed shower scene. So much nudity and bad acting that it crossed into the realm of the surreal.

3) Actress Dina Meyer’s topless love scene as Dizzy “Diz” Flores.

4) Diz. Her name is Diz. Ha!

5) The use of Blur’s catchy song, “Song 2,” in the trailers. It effectively fooled you into thinking the movie would be fun.

Note that I didn’t mention the piss-poor plot, the uninspired action, or “actor” Casper Van Dien.

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Van Dien, with one of his peers.

Sony Pictures continues to recklessly disregard my input, because they’re making a second sequel that involves none of Doogie Howser and naked Diz, and a lot of bad plot, bad action, and bad Casper Van Dien.

Good thinking, Sony. The first sequel never even made it to the theaters. Between this and Nintendo and Apple kicking your ass, you’re really knocking it out of the park lately, eh?

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  • Topics: Movies |

    6 Responses to “Sony Beats the Dead Horse That is Starship Troopers”

    1. Wavatar Paul Says:
      June 20th, 2007 at 9:22 am

      I love Starship Troopers. LOVE IT. I never saw the sequel though, it just frightens me.

    2. Wavatar nickolai Says:
      June 20th, 2007 at 9:27 am

      I’m with Paul on this one. Don’t “LOVE” it, but I did thoroughly enjoy it, and have seen it many many times.

      I mean, can you beat Jake Busey “playing” a flourescent green space violin?

    3. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      June 20th, 2007 at 11:18 am

      I am sad for both of you.

      I had high expectations for ST, so when I finally saw it… major letdown.

    4. Wavatar The Five Most Pathetic Upcoming Geek Movie Sequels | Great White Snark Says:
      August 21st, 2007 at 1:14 am

      [...] orifice do you think Starship Troopers 3 will violate? I’ll give you one hint. There’s no [...]

    5. Wavatar Mike F Says:
      October 4th, 2007 at 9:44 am

      Dude, Starship Troopers is one of the best movies, ever. There’s a ton of violence, some quality nudity, and it’s chock-full of subversive dark humor. You need to watch it as a parody though, not a straight-forward action flick (although it works as that, too).

    6. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      October 5th, 2007 at 2:27 am

      Since I watched it as a straight-up action flick, I don’t think I enjoyed it as intended. Next time I see a ST movie, I’ll take it as a farce. I promise.

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