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The Cost of Outfitting a Real Life Batman
By Great White Snark | July 19, 2007
This is Part One in a three-part series on Real-Life Batman.
Part Two: Pimp your Bat-ride
Part Three: You can stop wondering what Batman looks like in real life
Does Batman’s backstory seem a bit fishy to you?
I don’t mean the part where a rich kid devotes his life to fighting crime in the city’s darkest alleyways instead of pursuing a bacchanalian existence of exotic cars, extravagant parties, and vapid rich chicks. (Although that stretches the imagination, as well…)
I mean the part where his parents–an ultra-wealthy, middle-aged, white couple–get killed in a mugging. Statistically, that’s about as likely as my taking Communion.
In “real” life, Batman probably wouldn’t be able to borrow a Bat-tank from the WayneTech garage, build a cavernous, high-tech lair, or special-order custom codpieces from Taiwan. No, a “real” Batman would probably be some average schmo with a rejection letter from the police academy, anger issues, and a subscription to Guns & Ammo.
In other words, he’d be Batman on a budget: Batguy. And here’s the price list for equipment that he’d keep in his lair, er… garage.
COSTUME
Cowl What would Batman be without the cowl? Well, Batguy, actually. Custom cowls with pointy ears are somewhat difficult to come by. A superhero still needs a mask and head protection, though. How about a black, NOMEX, SWAT-style hood. Looks like a ski mask, but it’s fire-retardant. Nifty. Price: $27
Utility Belt Batguy probably won’t be toting around laser cutters and tracking devices, but he still needs someplace to put his bottle opener / key chain. How about a Ninja Utility Belt from KarateDepot. Price: $10
Body Armor Now here’s something that Batguy really shouldn’t scrimp on. After all, he is painting a big, yellow Bat-target on his chest. A ProMAX GoldFlex vest is ultra-lightweight and concealable, and can stop a .357 round. Or a dish thrown by a disgruntled ex-wife. Price: $540
Gauntlets Batguy’s gauntlets provide dramatic offensive power and effective defensive, um… power. Unfortunately, a proper pair of custom steel gauntlets can run upwards of several hundred dollars. Batguy will have to settle for a pair of leather gauntlets and brass knuckles. Price: $66 + $15
Black Spandex A superhero on a budget is still a superhero. You can’t forgo the spandex. Batguy could probably find something cheaper than Under Armour, but nothing else will keep him as warm during those chilly midnight stakeouts. Price: $48 (Coldgear Tactical Longsleeve Crew) + $55 (Coldgear Tactical Brushed Leggings)
Boots Batguy needs boots that allow him to be nimble, but have great traction and stomping potential. Except, you know… cheap. And black. This calls for G.I.-type jungle combat boots. Price: $28
Cape Capes tend to get in the way, so if Batguy is going to have one (and he must), then it better be practical. He can fashion one out of fire-retardant polysatin fabric. And if he gets sick of the cape, he can turn it into curtains for the windows on his van. Price: (for a couple of yards of fabric) $15
Codpiece When all is said and done, Batugy needs something to look forward to if the career in crime-fighting doesn’t work out. A Kevlar groin protector will do the trick. Price: $110
GADGETS
Batarangs Batguy barely passed metal shop in high school, so he’s going to need to buy throwing stars by the dozen. He can draw little Bat-symbols on them with a Sharpie. Price: (throwing stars) $25 + (pack of Sharpies) $8
Bat-Rope Slim chance that Batguy could afford a pneumatic grappling device that can winch up to 250 pounds, but he can get folding grappling hook ninja gear from Amazon. (Man, that site has everything.) Price: $19
Bat-Computer Batguy can’t very well fight crime if he can’t find it. That’s what handheld police scanners are for. (Added bonus for Batguy: This police scanner doubles as a NASCAR racing scanner. Whatever that means.) Price: $110
Bat-Cuffs Heavy-duty cable zip ties come in packages of 100, and can also be used to cinch up garbage bags after Batguy rakes up his front yard. Price: $11
Smoke Pellets Sometimes Batguy needs to beat a hasty retreat, and he uses smokescreens to cover his exit… so he keeps a set of smoke emitter pellets in his utility belt. (Who knew that superheros and English chimney repairmen would share tools-of-the-trade?) Price: $12
Yellow Spray Paint To mark Batguy’s chest with his glorious Bat-symbol of truth, justice, Lay-Z-Boys, and brewskis. Price: $5
So Batguy needs $1,104 to get suited up and out-the-door… which doesn’t even account for the few-hundred dollars in recurring monthly costs it’ll take to replace used and damaged equipment. That’ll probably put a bit of a strain on his already-burdened credit cards, but such is the price of justice and kickin’ ass.
UPDATE: I discovered today on Digg that artist Mike Mitchell was inspired by the same idea: Batman-on-a-budget. He graciously agreed to let me post his really sweet rendering of Middle Class Batman here, but you should check out his blog and his online portfolio for other striking geek-art goodness.
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July 19th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
awesome stuff, it sounds totally doable — I’ve already got the throwing stars. But that still doesn’t address the need for a sweet bat-ride. I guess something like this would work:
http://www.reallyfunnypictures.co.uk/miscellaneous/pic39.php
July 19th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Funny you should mention… I’m putting together something to address that in the next post in the series. I’m thinking of making this “Real-Life Batman” week.
July 20th, 2007 at 2:46 am
[...] You don’t have to be rich to be Batman [...]
July 23rd, 2007 at 2:50 am
[...] You don’t have to be rich to be Batman [...]
July 26th, 2007 at 1:49 am
[...] que llevaba Jack Bauer en su serie 24. Pues bien, a algún fanboy se le ha ocurrido pensar en el equipo que podría llevar Batman si este fuera de carne y hueso, y no fuese millonario, claro. El equipo incluye cinturón multifunción, chaleco antibalas, licra [...]
August 27th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Is there ANYWHERE, even if its a place that they have to speacially make them, sell bat-guy forearm guards WITH those kevlar or metal 3 side blades?
PLZZZ does anyone know anywhere or can anyone make these.
Price is negtioable :)
August 27th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Excellent question about the gauntlet blades. If you find a place, let me know! Otherwise, I think your best bet is probably a high school metal shop.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
P.S. Lin, are you actually building a Batman costume?
August 27th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
LMAO, I am not building one persay, also Im a girl for everyones info, But I just got an amazing price on a bullet proof vest on ebay, it was 169 worn once.No holes but they gotta sell it as used then. Then i got a awesome win bid on a German Flak Vest which is 2A Fragmentation ( pretty strong) the other vest is III-A+ Thats also without the trauma plate. Not included though :(( Still I also am skilled in Jiu-Jitsu and Kenpo and I am looking for like a whole Jacket Kinda Like bat-guy where its not meant to be bullet proof, but has hard plates if you were going hand to hand like forearm, shouldr then hard stomach foam. Like the LOS Ninjas uniforms in Batman Begins. I was thinking of maybe a snowboarders flak jacket. I saw awesome one @ rockgardn.com Click the full flak jacket. If you only get the vest there is very little protection. And the plates and spine guard ( so you don’t break your spine) are white, but you can be like bat-guy or girl :p and spray paint the whole thing black. Thats an awesome Jacket from rockgardn.com.Any1 know any better?
August 27th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
One more thing guys, capes might be corny, but have you ever seen the movie 300? With the spartans? The cape is not just for show. As none of us (I think) can fashion bat guys kinda cape they can still be used very effectively. You wipe it in front of their eyes as you attack, stab, slice w/e and it blinds and also distracts them. There are even ways taught how to fight and disarm dangerous foes with just a towel in Martial Arts. So hey, don’t laugh so hard at some guy or girl with a cape, it might be the last thing you do. LOL
Bye guys
August 27th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Some people have a cape to distract and disorient their enemies during an attack. I have a handful of dirt.
October 15th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
[...] What happens when we stop letting artistically-inclined fanboys take liberties with the images of our favorite characters? We miss out on goodness like Budget Batman: [...]
December 30th, 2007 at 10:51 pm
I’ve been looking for somebody coughing up ideas like this for ages - congratulations and let us know about any other non-corporate/underground reps of this hardnose lunatic anti-hero of midnight. I crave alternatives to the DC/WB-controlled hypermanic hardsell - I have a B&W A5 trashcan edition of some Spanish artists from 1991, with a pen drawing of a drunken Alfred Pennyworth in a very loose fitting tatty costume, hanging out on a window ledge, cursing Bruce and holding a big gun.
Your breakdown of this middle class batguy’s uniform/costume requirements is well thought thru - is it OK if I post some suggestions - Lin’s observation about the possiblities of the cape as a deadly weapon are excellent, but a budget batguy car/bike must have enclosed mud guards - remember Isadora Duncan and her scarf. And I haven’t seen many asphalt streets/linoleum floors with convenient piles of dirt.
January 2nd, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Also - check out the other Bat Fan -
http://i.treehugger.com/images/2007/10/24/batman-ceiling-fan.jpg
January 11th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
i want batman begins vambraces. No one seems talented enough to make real life ones though :(
January 11th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
i am very much into wing chun/jeet kune do martial arts. So i like how realistic Batman Begins was compared to the last ummm 4? Tiger style, panther fist, every MA move in that movie is VERY accurate. I am talking about the styles used where Christian Bale, in the beginning, attacks Liam Neeson. They are very accurate.
The League of Shadows Uniforms are very armored and also light enough to still use Martial Arts. I wish there were real life uniforms like this, not just costumes.
But the more you rely on something else to protect you, the more you lose your real instinct and skill so there must be a balance.
Kinda deep????? LOL
keep posting ppl i love this site
January 13th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I don’t get it, what is a “vambrace”? Does LOL stand for ‘Lonely Old Lady”? The MA Consultants were great on the BB movie (did you see the DVD extras), of course now I’m anticipating great things in new TDK, due to HL’s psycho performance of TJ… I’m not expecting a lot of defensive body armour under the clown suit tho’.
Nolan’s BB shifted the dynamics as radically as Tim Burton did in 1989, trying to keep pace with Frank Miller’s comic book writing - Michael Keaton really wasn’t slapstick when it was released, but those ummm 4 movies really dated a lot. Interesting that both (old and new) films were inspired by FM’s dark work.
Enough with the acronyms. The accurate moves used by Bruce Wayne when dealing with his mentor Henri Ducard (and disciples) are a product of his strict induction into the League of Shadows, after which Bruce returns to the old hometown and changes forever, releasing his suppressed rage and developing his own personal, more brutal, wild card free-form style.
Also, it’s weird seeing Bruce Wayne impersonate Bob Dylan lately..? Now what is a vambrace anyway - maybe I know somebody with the skills?
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:58 am
Tarax: As far as I know, vambraces are those pieces of armor, usually metal or hard leather, that cover one’s forearm. In BB, these would be his distinctive scalloped armguards that he uses to great effect in many of his fights. Gauntlets are heavy gloves that extend past the wrist to provide some protection for the forearm, similar to but distinct from vambraces.
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:04 am
Excellent, interesting article btw. Sorry this didn’t make my first post, I got carried away in lecture mode. ;) Hope to read more soon!
February 1st, 2008 at 10:53 am
TY scifreak. Vambraces are the traditional term for forearms guards. Just like Greaves are shin guards, but when used in those terms, it means more for combat as opposed to sports.
February 4th, 2008 at 8:28 am
And LOL stands for Laugh out loud or Lots of laughter. Jeez what a noob.
February 9th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
What noob? That’s a little cruel - another acronym perhaps..? Not Old, Only Bent, or Never Offend Obsessive Batfan?
Anyway, if you want some prop bat-vambraces, it wouldn’t be too hard to make some kind of pattern and have them sand cast in aluminium - of course, any ninja could put a katana thru them like butter. If you’re looking for something that seriously cuts the mustard, they should be forged and annealed (quenching in oil and water to produce harder steel) by a blacksmith.
Rather than have solid steel covering both forearms, perhaps a defensive ridge (running from elbow to wrist, creating the distinctive scalloped edge of which you speak) could be worked into some lighter material, like tooled black leather - in the movie, Bat’s vambraces look like a mix of materials, don’t they?
March 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Check this out http://approvedgasmasks.com/riot-control.htm
For the glove and forearms protection, i found these. http://approvedgasmasks.com/gloves-dominator.htm
As for the training,there is tactical training center and paramilitary facility that offer training and instruction in bounty hunting, private investigation, close protection and munch more, all those course are open to the public. Heck for 2000$ you can go study kung fu in a shaolin temple or muay thai in Thailand for several months under great masters. There is also Ninjutsu and Krav maga training camp or seminar, Commando Krav maga is probably the best. http://www.commandokravmaga.com/html/index.html
http://www.transitionsabroad.com/publications/magazine/0209/kungfu.shtml
for bodybuilding ( http://www.nutrex.com/)
so yes, I guess a budget Batman could exist.
Cost of the training, approx: 5000$ or less
March 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Nice gauntlets on that first link JohnF, and I wish I could go to Thailand for a Muay Tai - the gauntlets are fine, but the question is in regard to vambraces with the signature scalloped ridges that scream, “I am The Batman!”
btw: your link to the steroid sales loop is just ugly… “stimulant” addicted musclemen that own home gym equipment can’t be middle class, can they? I would hope that a real life Bruce Wayne would simply be a well-trained, well-equipped “average guy” who can actually fit thru a doorway.
March 8th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Nutrex doesn’t sale steroid. Steroid are illegal in most country, They sale nutritional supplement like protein and all, they might sale testosterone and some weard stuff but no steroids. Protein shake are not that expensive and are a must for every bodybuilder.
Starting from scratch, a middle class man with a reasonable budget could gain 30 to 40 pounds of solid muscle in 6 to 8 months. ”With an intensive workout routine and a good diet of course”
My point was not to promote this compagny or anything, It was simply to show that it was possible for an average joe to beef up and learn to fight rapidly and under a strict budget.
I realy like the costume from batman no.666.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y92/expletivedeleted/BM_Cv666_solicit.jpg
A trench coat made or lined with kevlar and/or nomex fabric would be cool and could double as some sort of cape like in this comic
http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee73/batsentry57/Damian%20Wayne/The_Legend_of_Batman.jpg
As for the Muay thai training camp you asked:
http://www.tigermuaythai.com/
http://www.phuket-muay-thai.com/muai-thai-information.htm
And while i’m here, Check this out
http://www.stisecurity.com/en/entrainement.php.
March 8th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Nice but i don’t like the trench coat.
An intense muay thai training camp in thailand will get someone strong ripped and in shape, no need for bodybuilding…. Beside becoming a powerhouse would give you great strenght but at the cost of you’r agility and speed. I would recomend mixed martial art and Parcour. (freerun)
But you forgot that Batman use fear as main weapon, all the stuff you guy’s mentioned are great but all those gear and stuff would make someone look like a wannabe SWAT or a mall ninja. Batman primary weapon is fear.
That’s why in real life a costume like this would work better http://hq.cosmo.com.br/images/hqcoisa/h0085_stanlee_bat_batman.jpg
From Stan Lee’s just imagine Batman. that’s a scary costume that would work on the street.
We don’t want a guy dressed as a swat patrolling the street playing vigilante. We want a creature of the night prowling rooftop looking for mugger and other criminal, because that’s what batman is in his universe.
Full site http://hq.cosmo.com.br/textos/hqcoisa/h0085_stanlixo.htm
http://www.dcfanpage.de/dcu/just_imagine/cover/us_just_imagine001_back_gross.jpg
According to the comic the costume is lined with kevlar, padded, the cape glide and the mask got night vision and enhanced hearing.
April 12th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Thats seems about right, price-wise. I know where you can get stuff that a Real-World Bat-Dude would drool over, you can find all sorta of neat little things on the Net regarding that sorta stuff.
For example:
Batsuits/Armor: http://d3olab.com/
http://rockgardn.com/
http://sixsixone.com/
Boots: http://www.kenguru.de/Bilder/Kangaroo_boots_pics/kangaroo_boots_pics.html
http://www.pennangalan.com/boots/FW45.php
Bracers: http://www.darkknightarmoury.com
http://www.by-the-sword.com
http:/www.leatherlore.com
Utility Belts: http://cheaperthandirt.com
or just go to a Army/Navy Surplus store and pick up a Web belt,and compass utility pouches.
Any more stuff you might use, drop me a line, and no i’m not out to become the Dark Knight, i’m just interested in the stuff thats all.
Peace out
May 5th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Ok no offence… but this has to be the worst stuff I have ever seen… First of all, batarangs look like bats… not ninja stars, why would you need yellow spray paint? you can’t get a good paint job with that.. you would need to use a paint gun like they use on cars… next… the bat-cuffs? give me a break… you can buy those plastic things anywhere for like $5 for about 1000… SWAT uses them because they can not carry around that many handcuffs…. and they are not even that.. they look like hang cuffs made of plastic.. Next your bat-computer….oh wow.. where do i start there.. Nice “nascar” symbol.. looks more like a walkie talkie or a phone. The only thing on here that is half decent is the body armor and the grappling hook, and the boots. The picture you have there is unbeleivably stupid as well as the website. you could make a much far better batman suit for cheaper… last thing.. Smoke pellets?.. you can make those soo easy with household iteams.. look online… or if you were any good with chemistry you can figure it out
May 5th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Dear Bruce (aka batman),
Clearly, you need to get into the whole spirit of the thing - this is a list of goodies for crime fighters on a tight budget. I’m sure the Warner Bros royalties are rolling in, so how many big black cars do you have in your underground garage now?
Since you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a degree in chemistry up your butt-ler - you must get Alfred to hand sculpt all the batarangs you need. The rest of us wanna-be stupor-heroes are pinching pennies to make ends meet, so improve your attitude, be a little more constructive, and smile you lazy little rich boy - or I’ll make you smile like you never smiled before.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Not really sure how cheap these things are, but I found this website that has links to certain “Bat-Gadgets.”
http://www/beingbatman.com/category/gadgets/
You can find ninja utility belts for as low as $10.
And I also found this other link that talks about ways to create your own costume at:
http://www.greatwhitesnark.com/2007/07/19/you-dont-have-to-be-rich-to-be-batman/
As far as the vehicle is concerned, there are always SWAT Armored Rescue Vehicles. They run aout $250,000.00, but it’s always nice to dream, right? A link to that is right here:
http://www.police.nashville.org/news/news/2007/0504_armored_vehicle.htm
Hope this helps!
May 6th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
As far as the suit is concerned, you could always buy a SCUBA-diving outfit, or a military wetsuit and put body armor over it.
May 6th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Wait. I now realize my second link to my first post is for this website. So, sorry about that. How did I not notice that before? But the others are hopefully helpful.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:27 am
Okay, Shortish: Your first link is wrong, too. You put an extra slash at the end. The amended link is as follows:
http://www.beingbatman.com/category/gadgets
It’s actually pretty cool. They have through the wall stethoscopes, pocket cutting torches, even a grappling hook and line launcher.
As for the car, well, yes $250,000.00 is a little out of most people’s reach, but the car still looks pretty cool.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
In a current Comic Shop News (#1089) there is mentioned a line of DC Direct (coming in December) merchandise, I quote… “the latest addition to the JLA Trophy Room: Life-sized, fully functioning Bat-Cuffs - the same size as regulation police handcuffs! The JLA Trophy Room Bat-Cuffs Prop Replicas unlock with a special bat-shaped key, fold in half for easy transport, and can be displayed on the included stand.”
Full functioning? Start saving your Xmas dollars Bat boys and girls.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Also, great links shortish, and thank you corrector.
A hero could get really weighed down with all that stuff, (there’s no utility belt big enough to carry that grapple launcher cannon - and if you’ve ever tried to walk in a dry wet-suit you’d know that’s not a really practical idea. There’s a lot of chaffing even before you start to sweat, and the idea of a wet suit is to keep you warm in cold water - without a lot of cold seawater around you, you get to perspire a lot, really fast - and I doubt gluing body armour onto it would make the experience any more pleasant.
May 8th, 2008 at 7:52 am
I found ninja gauntlets on ebay:
http://cgi.ebay.com/Ninja-Gauntlets_W0QQitemZ330234413902QQihZ014QQcategoryZ48776QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
I hope I got that right. If not, just go to ebay.com and type in “Ninja Gauntlets.”
May 8th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
To: the Corrector
Excellent - what a find!
Shame we can’t mount a picture of that item here. Lin & Great White Snark might be interested. These look great and really answer all the requirements. I wonder what they’re made out of?
At least they’re black.
May 9th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
According to their website, thebronzearmore.com, they deal with movie props, or something like that.
There isn’t a direct ink to their Batman section, but just go to:
http://www.thebronzearmory.com
click on the middle icon,The 86th Floor, then click on the Batman link.
Not really sure if you can buy directly of the site, though.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Just found out: Yes, you can. Via PayPal.
May 9th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Dear Corrector and Shortish,
Excellent information re; my new disguise - I wonder if that’s a licensed product? It would be a joke on Bruce (aka batman) if it isn’t, wouldn’t it. Why is he so serious?
Bronze Armoury is where it’s at. I have to get me some of that. I wonder if they come in purple?
By the way, I just love PayPal. Makes me smile every time I hear the name - I want one too. My own little pay pal - she could come over for a pay date any time.
May 11th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I found another website with Batman Begins props.
http://www.yourprops.com/view_items.php?movie=Batman+Begins
It’s a little bit pricier than The Bronze Armory, but they have more things.
June 17th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
And I found a site today that tells you where to get high-tech things, like night vision goggles, eavesdropping equipment, laser optics, etc.
http://www.hackcanada.com/blackcrawl/elctrnic/hightech.txt
June 17th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I mean, judging by the date at the top of the page, it’s a little old (01/01/92). But it’s worth a shot, right?
July 11th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I’d like to see some stuff on real life Batman Beyond. It’s not by any means cheap but some of it’s doable already. You just need to put this:
http://www.acceleratingfuture.com/michael/blog/images/Moller_wiederhold.jpg
Into this:
http://www.batmobilehistory.com/beyond-batmobile.gif