≡ Menu

Pimp Your Bat-ride

This is Part Two in a three-part series on Real-Life Batman.
Part One: You don’t have to be rich to be Batman.

Part Three: You can stop wondering what Batman looks like in real life

Imagine the Batmobile that real-life, budget-conscious Batman (or, “Batguy“) would drive. When you create that mental picture, keep in mind that his daytime alter-ego is still paying off a Toyota Corolla and making alimony payments to a rightfully-bitter ex-wife. (Batguy did spend a lot of nights during his married years away from home, after all…) No titanium armor, ejector seats, or rocket propulsion on this bad boy. Batguy will be lucky if his ride is sporting rear-view mirrors and power windows.

Batguy briefly considers the hobbyist’s approach to creating a Batmobile… building a replica from the ground up. But who’s got the time, money, and talent? Plus, who needs the distraction that comes with all those groupies? Oh, the life of a replica-Batmobile-builder-hobbyist.

There’s always Ebay… where you can find odds-and-ends from garage sales, mystery boxes, and a Batmobile fashioned out of a 1970 Oldsmobile.

In spite of the attractive picture, the description (taken straight from www.ProseByCletus.com) doesn’t manage to inspire confidence.

The Milwaukee batmobile is 455 mechanically sound.custom built from 1970 olds 98 southern car no rust no body damage.has new tires ,brake springs and more. car was designed from 1960″s coloring book in o5 car was autografed by george Barris

Inspired by a coloring book and “autografed” by the King of Kustomizations, you say? Tell me, if I look at your Ebay feedback, will I find something to the effect of, “Bad communication. Did not specify in auction that he only accepts car parts and moonshine as payment.”

When it comes down to it, Batguy doesn’t want to look far beyond the discount bin at Home Depot for his car-customization needs. With a few cans of spray paint and some metal scraps, he can turn an old VW into a veritable, well… not-quite-as-wimpy VW. (Thanks to Nickolai for the link.)

Of course, a flimsy door handle and a $20 steering wheel lock aren’t going to stop Joker from taking a joyride in the Batmobile, and then making it into a giant laughing-gas car bomb. That’s just the kind of spiteful thing that he’d do.

It’s all the same to Batguy… he’s been looking for an excuse to hit the demolition derby circuit, anyway. (The dog tracks are so 2005, after all.)

5 comments… add one
  • Paul July 22, 2007, 5:00 pm

    I’m not sure if I want the car or the girl more in that top picture…

  • Great White Snark July 22, 2007, 11:13 pm

    The good news is, the life of a replica-builder-hobbyist is chock full ‘o girls.

  • Paul July 23, 2007, 9:02 am

    In that case… I need to buy a wielding torch and a lot of sheet metal and even more black spray paint. I think I found my calling.

  • Micheal terring March 16, 2008, 1:55 pm

    two ideas:

    black licoln continetial with a bus engin

    or a black sportscar without license plates

  • Jon Man September 15, 2009, 10:15 am

    when i think of something along the lines of a vigilante attack car, i think of a tottally decked out muscle car. get an old gto, pimp the engine and suspension out and then weld steel plates for protection. and maybe some adjustable flood lights for some good blinding of runners and pursuers. but thats just my thoughts.

Leave a Comment