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My Advice for Angry Furries
By Great White Snark | September 26, 2007
Brace yourselves, people. I’m going to antagonize those easily-excitable, oft-angry Furries again. So, prepare to duck-and-cover in case of irrational use of phrases like “Temples of Christ” to describe the “vessels” adorned by giant Paddington Bear costumes. (Not used by me, mind you. Whenever I take the Good ol’ Lord’s name in vain to justify my aberrant behavior, it’s always perfectly rational.)
What drew my attention, this time? I just saw an announcement for the second annual Furries vs. Klingon bowling tournament to be held this Saturday in Atlanta.
Jesus Jackrabbit, the nerd quotient couldn’t get any higher in that bowling alley if they invited a group of D&D dungeon masters to keep score. I haven’t felt this squeamish about a match-up between lamentable characters since the Tri-Lambs took on the Alpha Betas in the Adams College homecoming carnival in Revenge of the Nerds.
Now, I’m a big fan of the Nerd Nation. Sure, I occasionally tease them. In fact, Trekker nerds that dress up like Klingons are a great example. But I tease ’cause I love. (Just ask my little brother… once he gets rid of that annoying trembling habit.) As I’ve said before, nerds create so many wondrous things that we geeks enjoy reading about on Digg.
But that’s the difference between nerds and run-of-the-mill weirdos. They both attract scorn for their unconventional ways, but nerds bring a lot of creativity and ingenuity to the world. Weirdos just run around doing, well… weird stuff. And those are the folks I tease purely because it’s so-very-often funny.
(So, I lash out at what I don’t understand. Sue me for being so small-minded. Won’t make you any less of a dorkotron, though, Dorkotron.)
Why do you have to have to handle that teasing so very, very poorly, Furries? (And, yes, I realize that it’s only been the couple of Furries who have visited this blog who have demonstrated such entertainingly unnerving reactions, but I’m generalizing that definitively nutty behavior, now. Because, as we all learn as we get older, generalizations are always either 1) true or 2) funny, so it’s win-win.)
It’s insulting to me that you act like you’re persecuted. People born with a certain lineage, skin color, handicap, or sexual preference… those are people that have been and are unfairly persecuted. You weren’t born with a dress-up-like-a-pink-bunny-rabbit gene any more than I was born with a gene that makes me giggle like a giddy little schoolgirl during repeats of Veronica Mars. I do it because I’ve just grown into that sort of dork, and my friends are entirely justified for giving me shit about it.
Ah, yes, but groups of people are also persecuted for their religious beliefs as well, aren’t they? Perhaps that’s why you’re so eager to bring Christ Allrighty into it… you want to make some convoluted attempt to tie Furry fandom to your religious practice. I’ll let you in on a little secret: nothing screams, “I’m coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs, so automatically dismiss everything I have to say,” louder than a religious fanatic operating under a name like “Major Feathers.”
Don’t you know that the bestest, most rational, and adult way to handle teasing is take ownership of your weirdness, rather than try to defend it? The underlying message when you take that approach is that whatever weird thing you’re doing doesn’t need to be defended… it’s just another sliver of the spectrum of the human condition. You’ve accepted yourself, and that’s all that matters.
So, the best response by a member of the Furry Frolickers is not:
To say that God does not care that much about how we dress ourselves is pretty inaccurate. God proclaims the human body as the Temple of Christ, so YES, God does care VERY MUCH about what we choose to wear on Christ’s Temple. Do you think God looks kindly on people wearing T-Shirts that say “God Sucks”?! Also the “motive” of why some people dress up as animals is vitally important. If someone dresses up as a fox to worship some sort of “animal-god”(violation of the 1st Commandment), or in protest to God because supposedly God mistakenly made someone a human instead of a dragon(saying the Creator of the Universe is faulty), or to fulfill a crazy fantasy of inter-species fornication(GROSS!), it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that person is causing God unnecessary anguish. It’s NOT “just a joke” when well-meaning performers get placed in a nasty category and ruins everything positive we’re trying to do in the community. [...] Would YOU be able to “get over it and move on” so easily if I told all the media you were an Al-Quida terrorist planting bombs all over the Bay area? I thought not. Maybe that example is a little extreme but the principle is the same.
With comments like that (taken directly from my post about the costume contest at Super-Con), it’s a wonder the Furries have a PR problem.
The best response is, “Heh, yeah, I guess it’s a bit silly that I like to dress up like a giant stuffed animal, but, hey… all I know is that it floats my boat. To each their own, right?”
And then skip away in your costume, twirling an umbrella, and whistling the tune to The Andy Griffith Show.
UPDATE:
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Topics: Conventions and Events, Geeks, Offbeat News | 8 Comments »
September 26th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Is your flame-retardant suit back from the dry cleaner’s?
(Great post, btw.)
September 26th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
lol Cindi
September 27th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
And yet, the furries are silent!
October 5th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Oh, but Cindi, we did hear from that tiny, angry little man who loves to troll around the comments, in spite of the way it obviously exacerbates his ongoing mental anguish.
I’m afraid he finally blew his last, furry little gasket, and I had to mark his comments–most appropriately–as spam. I think he’ll be more comfortable amongst the purveyors of Levitra, don’t you?
If only he knew that Jesus reserves his love for people who don’t leave laughably petty comments on blogs. On the other hand, the rest of us do get to continue to have a laugh at Chris’ expense, so that’s something. :)
October 9th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I have to say, that is quite an interesting little post you have there sir. Furries vs. Trekkies, that’s something you don’t hear about every day. I read over what you had to say about furries and I have to say, you bring up a good number of valid points. Granted, I don’t agree with taking the Lords name in vain, but I would like to commend you on your pointing out that if it is something that is merely just a fun little quirk that folks have, there is no reason to get irrate and someone’s jest. I for one think of furry as a hobby, and from what I have seen from other places I am shocked that some idiot hasnt placed a ton of irrelevant spam comments (aside from the one guy you mentioned)on here either about how the furry fandom sucks, not to mention that we will all burn in hell for this hobby. As for the whole persecution thing goes, I find it a bit silly. Furry is just here for fun, and sadly I have noted that a number of folks have blown it way out of proportion. Anyway, looks like a fun bowl regardless. Hopefully the furry fandom’s reputation will begin to turn for the better in the coming years.
October 9th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Joseph, well- and constructively-put, sir! Excuse me while I stand up and applaud! As you indicated, nobody ever died over a little teasing, but there’s no reason to maliciously attack people for their personal choices. Within the law, of course.
And unless you’re Bret Ratner. In which case, you make a living out of encouraging disparaging remarks about your person and character.
Unfortunately, the “spammer” was himself one of the folks who enjoys dressing up in furry costumes, and he made the not-so-bright decision to say rather ill-spirited and nasty things to some of the other commenters. So, he now resides in spammers oblivion, where he belongs.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:43 am
Hey, thought eveyone would like to check out the Klingon vs Furry Bowling Tournament video on FarkTV.com:
http://www.superdeluxe.com/sd/contentDetail.do?id=D81F2344BF5AC7BBEAB6C0444043111ADD86148487BAD9C2
October 11th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Yes, Mr. “FarkTV”, I will plug your video, but only because it’s good.