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My Top Five Geek Man-Crushes

Oh, happy day. The remote chance of a sequel to Serenity is now somewhat slightly less remote. To celebrate, here’s my list of geeky, non-sexual man-crushes (with alluring glamor shots), starring…

Nathan Fillion

Firefly and Serenitys Captain Reynolds, a.k.a Captain Tightpants.

And let’s be clear. His tight pants have nothing to do with my man-crush. Not that there’s anything wrong with liking dudes in tight pants. If you’re into that sort of thing. It’s just… I’m not. Ok? So… I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything… Ok. You get the picture.

That said, Nathan has that certain something that makes me titter and giggle gleefully like a schoolgirl when he comes on screen. And it makes me do things like use a Netflix rental on movies like Slither, which was a perfectly fine film, but… c’mon. Worth one of my four monthly rentals?

Nathan, you’re that perfect balance of manliness and sensitivity, of gravitas and mischievousness. And, damn, I wish I had your sense of improvisational comic timing.

And such pretty eyes. Ha ha! Just kidding. Mostly.

Skeet Ulrich

I should be more specific. I have a man-crush on Skeet Ulrich as Jake from Jericho. Skeet Ulrich from Chill Factor and The Newton Boys? I’m largely indifferent to him. Although I’m sure that Skeet Ulrich he has his redeeming qualities, too.

Jake is the poor man’s MacGyver. With his unassuming good looks, he’s clever, resourceful, knows all kinds of useful stuff, and you can count on him to save the day with both charisma and humility. Every. Single. Time.

He’s the kind of dude you’d want to have your back, whether you were trying to get out of a parking ticket, changing your transmission, or waging a small war with your neighboring town.

Especially that last one.

Christian Bale

I have unabashed admiration for a man of such raw talent who absolutely commits himself to his work. The dude elevates every movie he’s in, whether he’s a desperate rancher (3:10 to Yuma), a rail-thin insomniac (The Machinist), an 80s-style Wall Street serial killer (American Psycho), or just a guy trying to survive a dragon-infested apocalypse (Reign of Fire).

If we were all a little bit more like Christian Bale, perhaps by now we would have captured Osama bin Ladin, weaned ourselves from our dependency on foreign oil, saved the polar ice caps, provided health care for all citizens, and found a better alternative than Cavemen (a collective score of 12 out of 100 on Metacritic) for the Tuesday at 8pm timeslot on ABC. I’m just sayin’.

Also? Christian Bale? Best. Batman. Ever.

Anthony Head

Tony, even when you were playing a stuffy librarian on Buffy, your coolness seemed to go hand-in-hand with your aging… it wasn’t in spite of your age. (Ok, and I realize you’re not an old dude, by any means, but you’re older than my Mom, and I think she’d readily admit she lost track of her coolness about the time she got that Nissan Maxima back in the 80s.)

Not like Sean Connery’s “Connery, you magnificent bastard” cool. Not Michael Douglas’ “rich dudes get chicks like Catherine Zeta Jones” cool.

I’m talking about the kind of cool where groups of people sing along as you play your guitar–in a totally non-hippie way, your totally unpretentious Hollywood friend Joss Whedon comes over to your house just to hang out, and you get cast on shows like Manchild as the older (sorry… sophisticated), divorced ladies man.

I hope I’m cool like Tony Head when I grow up… more.

Jason Dohring

Jason, you’re a double-whammy. No pun intended. At all. Gross.

First, you can turn any dialogue into a tight, staccato poetry of dry witticism. Even on a dead-on-arrival, half-baked show like Moonlight. And that’s saying something.

Second, in your role as Logan on Veronica Mars, you got to make out with Kristen Bell. A lot. And then spend quality time with her in bed, mostly naked. Kudos, sir. Kudos.

Hey, Jason? Remember when I was standing in a line at Comic-Con, and you walked right past me and you were chatting up people in line and being totally cool? Remember that? Yeah. That was awesome.

6 comments… add one
  • sarah October 4, 2007, 6:57 am

    I’m with you on Skeet for sure and Christian (too a degree). Chill Factor wasn’t a good movie, but he was still cute in it. And Newton Boys he was very convincing. He was excellent in Miracles another tv series that got cancelled way too soon.

  • Nima October 4, 2007, 8:41 am

    No Picard?

  • Cindi October 4, 2007, 10:22 am

    There’s a lot of man-candy on “Battlestar Galactica.” But most of them have anough baggage to fill an entire cargo hold, so maybe they’re out.

    Not sure if he (or the show) is geeky enough, but I vote for Michael Vartan on “Alias.”

    Oh wait. I’m a girl. I guess I’m supposed to list my gal-crushes, but that would get you guys too excited.

  • Great White Snark October 4, 2007, 11:51 am

    Sarah, excellent points, but my man-crushes weren’t developed based on cuteness. Although, it might have influenced my picks a little…

    Nima, not to detract from Patrick Stewart, but there’s not a prayer I would have picked someone who has played a character on Star Trek.

    Cindi, it’s not about the eye candy. Most of the characters on BSG annoy me to no end. I used to like Chief Tyrol, but even he’s a drama queen now. And I wish Lee Adama would fall down some stairs.

  • nickolai October 4, 2007, 2:08 pm

    This is reaching way back, but Roy Fokker from Robotech is a man-crush I’ll never get over. Especially cuz he bites it so young. so young.

  • Walker May 22, 2009, 8:04 am

    Picard!

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