(Haven’t you read Part 1, yet? ‘Cause that’s the way we do things around here, buddy. In order.)
Great White Snark: If there is a hell, whom has the Devil contracted to run the place? And, no, it can’t be Michael Bay, because he’s still alive. Duh.
Stephen Lindsay: IF there’s a Hell? My god, man! They’re remaking Clash of the Titans! If that’s not proof positive that there’s a Hell, I don’t know what is! As for who’s running the joint… I kinda hope it’s just some schlub that nobody knows about, ya know? Just some guy that sat in his apartment and had the most vile, awful thoughts… unspeakable evil shit that normal (or even mildly insane) people could never dream of. If it was someone obvious like Hitler or Stalin that would suck. It would show a COMPLETE lack of imagination on the part of Satan. Maybe he got a hold of someone like Gandhi in a poker game with God and he’s forced HIM to run the joint. Now that would be one crazy ass Hell, wouldn’t it?
GWS: Yeah, you know frigging Ghandi would have plebes enduring beatdowns at the hands of Hell’s overlords, and then pass it off as a peace protest or something.
What else does Jesus hate, besides zombies and a Schick razor?
SL: Jesus hates deodorant streaks on his shirts, Manga, hangnails, electric toothbrushes (I mean come on, how lazy can you be to not have the enrgy to brush your effin’ teeth on your own?), the Bourne movies, the band Oasis, non-alcoholic beer, sugarless gum, teeth whitenings, and chicks who wear sweatpants with words like “Juicy” written across the ass.
GWS: I can only hope that at some point I get to see Jesus regulate on some zombie-fied chick with “Juicy” emblazoned on the seat of her sweatpants. And he’d kill her with a pink cell phone. For the irony.
Will we ever see Jesus using his powers of transmutation to battle zombies? I mean, turning water into wine can’t be the only trick up his sleeve.
SL: He would LOVE to, but the lack of faith = a lack of powers. So, unfortunately, until humanity starts believing, he can’t even transmutate a Red Bull into a glass of Zinfandel with his dinner. but we MAY see some powers returning in the next JHZ book…
GWS: Speaking of the next book, Jesus Hates Zombies features a series of tasty, appetite-whetting vignettes… when is Jesus getting a full-length epic adventure, already?
SL: I thought you’d never ask! The first of two graphic novels that will make up one GIGANTIC, EPIC, (insert more hype-filled hyperbole here) Jesus Hates Zombies story is due out in May. It’s called Jesus Hates Zombies featuring Lincoln Hates Werewolves in: Yea, Though I Walk. Catchy title, ain’t it? it just rolls right off the tongue! And yes, the Lincoln in the title refers to Abe Lincoln… U.S. President and noted hater of Werewolves. (Ok, Ok… the werewolf hating isn’t in the history books… but it SHOULD have been!) The book features Jesus, Laz, Lincoln, Zombies, Werewolves, Angels, a Zombie Angel, Werezombies, and another type of zombie that is deadlier than anything the WORLD. HAS. EVER. SEEN. Artist Lauren Monardo (who did the back cover of Those Slack-Jaw Blues as well as the stories “I’m With Stupid” and “My Father’s Son”) is doing all of the art. So look for Volume 1 in May and Volume 2 later in the year!
GWS: Rock on. Can’t wait to see Lauren‘s interpretation of a were-zombie.
Don’t stop there. This is your chance, man. What else have you got going on? Plug away!
SL: I’ve also got two other books in the works. One is a supernatural detective story that takes place in New York City in 1905 that’s called Broken Spirits. I’m working with a Brazilian artist named Breno Tamura on it, and he’s just incredible. His work is like Ashley Wood meets Mike Mignola. I’m completely and utterly in love with it. And I’ve got ANOTHER book I’m working on that is set in the superhero genre, but it’s from the point of view of a low-level crook who gets hyped by the media as the next big ‘super villain’ after he accidentally kills one of the country’s most beloved super heroes. It’s a really different look at the cape ad cowl genre, and I’m really excited about it. I’m working with artist Mark Stegbauer on it. Neither of those books have release dates yet, as they’re pretty early on in production, but both should be out in 2008!
Oh yeah, here’s the Diamond Order Code for Jesus Hates Zombies: Jan083325
Ok, I think I’ve exhausted all of my self-promotional whore-points for the moment… ;)
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Stephen shared a preview of Broken Spirits with me, and it showcases his true storytelling abilities in a way not possible in the series of short stories in JHZ. It makes me look forward to what he’ll be able to do with his already-demonstrated sense of irreverent fun in a longer-form work like the upcoming Jesus Hates Zombies featuring Lincoln Hates Werewolves in: Yea, Though I Walk. Between his writing talents, novel story concepts, and partnerships with fantastic artists, his upcoming projects should be real gems.
Thanks, Stephen, for participating in an interview conducted in the true spirit of Great White Snark. And by that, I mean… with class and a respect for endangered wildlife.