[Editor’s Note: Hi, kids. Here’s a teaser of my post that you can enjoy in its entirety today on ToyBender. -GWS]
You remember Madballs, right? For a while, they were the best excuse to play with high quality, foam rubber balls. That is, until Pamela Anderson got her first boob job.
Only Garbage Pail Kids did a better job riding the wave of popularity of freakish gross-out toys in the mid-1980s. The Madballs legacy left behind two series of toys, a (truly craptacular) Saturday morning cartoon, a comic book, and a multi-platform 8-bit video game.
(By “multi-platform” I mean the Commodore 64 and its competitor, the Amstrad CPC. And who didn’t want one of those back in the day? I used to be all, “No, I don’t want a stupid Nintendo, Mom. What, you want the other kids to make fun of me? I needs me an Amstrad CPC!” Totally.)
The two series of Madballs included a degenerate cast of characters. Take Slobulus, for example, as described on the Madballs Web site:
Here’s a brief rundown: Gross. Disgusting. Vile. Lacks 20/20 vision. What isn’t disgusting about Slobulus? Nothing–he’s a decapitated head. Duh.
Charming. With that as a guidepost, here are the top five inspirations for a third series of ‘Balls, along with suggested names and character bios. Please to be enjoying.
Lance Armstrong’s Left Testicle Ball: “Tumorous”
A decade of chaffing against a bicycle seat and several years of floating in a jar of preservative fluids [...]