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The Top Five Awful Death Star Cakes – Geeky Cake of the Week

Let me be clear: I am talentless in the kitchen. If it weren’t for my George Foreman grill, I’d live off of protein bars and frozen microwavable pasta. In the evolution of culinary arts, I’m the hunched-over caveman of cooking.

Yet, in no way does that fact diminish my enthusiasm for disparaging the efforts of those well-intentioned people whose cake-making skills–while plainly on par with those of a dull-witted chimp–far surpass my own. My gall knows no bounds.

5)


Source: Lamascus

I mean, I’ve seen worse likenesses. And if I couldn’t figure out what I was looking at, you conveniently spelled it out for me there in that serial killer’s scrawl of yours.

So, it’s not that bad. Did you really have to put it on your front stoop as a doormat?

4)


Source: terryattops

“Thanks, Mom! It’s just what I wanted! A manhole cover made of plumber’s putty! D-e-e-e-e-licious!”

3)


Source: trinlayk

Is it just me, or is this cake suddenly more impressive if you pretend it’s supposed to be a view of R2-D2’s face through a keyhole?

2)


Source: Zelda139

Everything was going fine in the construction of the Death Star until a giant space squid came along and took an inconveniently-situated dump.

1)


Source: jessicarabbit1313

Can’t… find… the words…

Did you even look at a picture of the Death Star when you made this, or just play a few games of Tic-Tac-Toe with the frosting and call it a day?

And what kind of shape is that? There’s nothing imposing or imperial about a muffin-top-shaped Death Star.

And could you have found a less-appetizing shade of frosting? What is that? Pewter?

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9 comments… add one

  • Matt April 9, 2008, 5:43 am

    Is that last one supposed to be the Death Star or the training droid? It would make sense if it were that since it’s with a lightsaber. I mean, it still doesn’t look like one, but it would be justifiable if it were.

  • nickolai April 9, 2008, 8:27 am

    Nice exposé on the underbelly of D.S. cakery. But I’m curious to see how a GWS-crafted Death Star cake would compare with this rogues gallery.

    Yes, consider your virtual face slapped by my lacey ninny-gloves!

  • Shithead April 9, 2008, 9:48 am

    I had my share of awkward years, so I’d rather not comment on this, but I can’t help but post it… the birthday girl with cake #3 will only add to your enjoyment of this fantastic post.

    http://flickr.com/photos/trinlayk/478698910/in/photostream/

  • Great White Snark April 9, 2008, 10:55 am

    @Matt: Yep, sadly, it’s supposed to be the Death Star. You’re right… the whole thing would have been 17% less embarrassing for the creator if they had just called it a training droid.

    @nickolai: I think I made it clear that my own compelling lack of talent in no way hinders my urge or ability to deprecate others.

  • nickolai April 10, 2008, 9:08 am

    Well sure, but lack of talent never held anyone else back — look at the cakes you surfaced.

    On another note: I can’t think of a less-appetizing SW icon to model a cake after than the Death Star…what flavor are these cakes anyway? Grey?

  • Great White Snark April 10, 2008, 11:00 am

    @nickolai: Flavor = metal.

  • Cindi April 10, 2008, 9:56 pm

    What scares me is how they arrived at this particular shade of “pewter.”

  • trin July 8, 2008, 8:07 am

    It’s OK that you think the cake is funny (I’m the photographer for #3), it was MEANT to be funny, and the kids LOVED it. (Oh the cake inside was even grey! and it was delish.)

    However, please note that there is an implied copyright on EVERY photo or work of art from the time it’s created. So it’s just good manners to ASK before using someone else’s photo. YES, even if posted on the net, or if it’s just some “family photo” and you aren’t using to make money.

    If someone has gotten a registered copyright, they could theoretically sue the socks of you for using their photo in your blog.

  • Bionelly August 29, 2008, 11:52 pm

    Is it just me, or does #2 look a lot more like a dirty igloo (being attacked by a squid) than the Death Star?

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