If you’re unfamiliar with Twitter, it’s a service that allows you to publicly notify your friends and contacts of your daily activities and thoughts in quick, 140-character-or-less updates from your phone, computer, or the Web. Which is ridiculous in theory, but addictive in practice.

1. just discovered solution to melting polar icecaps. form of… a GLACIER!
2. waiting at the dry cleaners for batman’s laundry
3. unfortunate side effect of power to transform into any animal: scientists asking me to procreate w/ endangered species
4. waxing wonder woman’s invisible plane. this superhero-in-training job sucks. guess it could be worse. could be waxing wonder woman.
5. really bored. considering taking form of rabid grizzly bear and terrorizing a chuck e. cheese’s.
6. @TheFlash yes, my monkey has been good today, so no, i don’t need to spank it.
7. listening to: “secret lovers” by atlantic starr
8. @greenlantern pls stop surfing porn on Hall of Justice computer. had to clean another virus today
9. cleaning aquaman’s bathroom. how can a fishman have this much hair?
10. @gleek we promise that we had no idea that your name was another word for spittle

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