Think these two flicks have almost nothing in common? Think again, you silly nerf herder. I bet you three high-fives (the only currency in which I can afford to deal these days) that you can’t figure out which movie I’m describing, below:
- Writer Joss Whedon brought this futuristic space actioner to the big screen.
- The film features a smart-alecky captain and his small smuggling ship’s scrappy crew of brigands, who must face and escape the horrors of a menacing and mysterious race of creatures.
- The crew includes a rough-edged hired gun, a tough-but-level-headed African American first mate, an unassuming-yet-talented mechanic, the captain’s strong-willed love interest, and a young, pretty girl with a secret past.
- Oh, and even though it’s a sci-fi flick, everybody’s packing projectile weapons… not lasers.
Stumped? You should be. That Serenity flick you enjoyed so much was knocked loose from the very same template that Joss Whedon created for Alien: Resurrection when he was on his gold-plated crapper one lazy Sunday afternoon.
Point: Serenity successfully rode the wave of enthusiasm created by the short-lived Firefly series.
Resurrection frayed the nerves of fans of the already-fatigued Alien franchise. (Seriously? Ripley’s back again?)
Point: The River Tam character in Serenity provides a more compelling storyline than the equivalent Annalee Call character in Alien: Resurrection.
But Alien: Resurrection gets big bonus points for the sweet rack on Winona Ryder. So. There’s that. Boobs.
Point: Serenity features one of Hollywood’s all-time best castings: Nathan Fillion as himself, er… as the incorrigible, quick-witted Mal Reynolds.
Meanwhile, I don’t think I can even remember the name of the actor who plays the captain in A:R. Alejandro? Jorge?
Ok, IMDB tells me his name is Michael Wincott. Whatever. I was close.
Point: Morena Baccarin co-stars in Serenity. Swoon, yo.
Even Winona Ryder’s hefty cleavage can’t help A:R pull this one out.
Point: The difference between Serenity‘s $40 million budget and Alien: Resurrection‘s $75 million budget really shows.
If Serenity were a blind date, you’d tell your friends that it has a really nice personality.
ADVANTAGE: Alien: Resurrection
Point: There’s more comic genius in Alan Tudyk and Adam Baldwin than there is in a whole room full of Sigourney Weaver clones-gone-awry.
And I don’t say that lightly. I laughed my ass off at that Sigourney Weaver clone that had the arms growing out of its head and everything. “Kill me, kill me!” Oh, the guffaws!
Disagree? Let me guess… you probably enjoyed that last Alien vs. Predator flick, too, right? Yeah. Your opinion doesn’t count.
Did I miss any points?
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