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The Top Five Actors to Consider Casting in the Beavis & Butt-Head Movie

Last month, Mike Judge–creator Office Space, Idiocracy, and King of the Hill, screenplays and TV shows paying tribute to America’s can’t-do spirit and utter mediocrity–raised the possibility of a live-action adaptation of Beavis & Butt-Head.

Which is weird, because I thought I saw this already. On Fox. When it was called The Simple Life, starring Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.

Not that it only takes a couple of dim-witted chowderheads doing their best impressions of “lazy” and “useless” and “smelly-twatted” to cast Beavis & Butt-Head.

Obviously it takes some pronounced mouth-breathing, as well.

5) Johnny Knoxville

Well. I think that face just about says it all.

4) Sean William Scott

Sean William Scott has the dull, sunken eyes of Butt-Head and the frenetic, Tourrette’s-like outbursts of Beavis.

He’s built a career around convincing us that he’s well-equipped to play both roles, and I think it’s time we honor his… qualities.

3) John Heder

Are you one of those few people who didn’t “get” Napoleon Dynamite?

What if I tell you that it was actually a 90-minute audition for the role of Butt-Head. That clears things up a bit, doesn’t it?

Stop stretching your acting “skills” in romantic comedies, John. It’s like Lindsay Lohan wearing a chastity belt; no one’s buying it.

2) Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Beavis, thy name is Chrisopher Mintz-Plasse.

Christopher who? You know… McLovin. The kid from Superbad who you were sure you’d never see on screen again. Because, seriously, there’s only so many “spastic, squeaky-voiced, high school kid” roles to go around.

Well, good news! No need to return this kid to the Home for Wayward Dungeon Masters from whence he came.

1) Rob Schneider

Hm. Let’s see… we’ll need an actor who not only can do funny voices, but can also play “unironically stupid.” Oh, Yahweh, where shall we find such a multi-dimensional performer?

Hopefully you’ve got some time in your schedule, Rob Schneider. Oh, wait, you do, because Adam “Gravy Train” Sandler is between projects.

What say you, readers? Have I missed anyone?

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3 comments… add one
  • Nathan D June 9, 2008, 9:19 pm

    I dunno — without Judge doing the voices I’m not sure I could take it. Your first two choices are so dead-on, yet the age thing is killer — thus your inspired 4th choice. Seems that once again you have the bases covered, GWS!

  • nickolai June 10, 2008, 10:47 am

    I think you’re right on GWS. But the obvious question here (besides, “WTF?!”) is, what chemicals is Mike Judge sniffing to think a B&B live-action movie is a remotely good idea?

    Seriously, WTF?!

  • Nathan D June 10, 2008, 11:30 am

    @nickolai — I believe the chemical’s technical name is cashinb42L8.

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