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Top Ten: What Would Wonder Woman Twitter?

I like to think that when Wonder Woman isn’t polishing her indestructible bracelets and picking star-spangled wonder-wedgies out of her Amazonian derriere, she enjoys kicking back with her official Justice League-assigned BlackBerry to micro-blog her life on Twitter.

Wonder Woman

If you’re unfamiliar with Twitter, it’s a service that allows you to publicly notify your friends and contacts of your daily activities and thoughts in quick, 140-character-or-less updates from your phone or computer. Which is ridiculous in theory, but addictive in practice.

  1. At the Justice League happy hour. Gods! Green Arrow mixes a formidable appletini. I need to lie down.
  2. @TheFlash Just once I’d like to come home to my room in the Watchtower and not find you rooting through my underwear drawer.
  3. Sometimes I feel ridiculous flying the invisible jet. Like a mime doing a really good ‘driving the car’ impression.
  4. @Zeus Just found out that Clash of the Titans is getting remade(!). Do you know who’s playing you?
  5. Feelin good. Doesn’t happen all the time, but I am totally rocking my tiara today.
  6. I’d love to get the Lasso of Truth around Batman and find out if he’s been stuffing that codpiece.
  7. @BlackCanary Are we still on for Sex and the City on Friday?
  8. Ugh. Indestructible bracelets I can’t remove = swamp rot on my arms after a shower. (Too much info?)
  9. Um, hello, @Superman! My eyes are up here! ”Big blue boy scout,” my ass.
  10. Who keeps leaving the toilet seat up in the Watchtower lav?

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8 comments… add one
  • Savage July 1, 2008, 6:38 am

    Funny stuff!

  • Paul July 1, 2008, 11:54 am

    She’d also say: Olivia Munn, please stop it’s never going to happen. I mean look at you, then look at me.

  • Nima July 1, 2008, 7:37 pm

    That invisible jet thing makes no sense. What is the point of having an invisible jet when:

    1. People can still see YOU, and presumably everyone else you’re with, in it (Mile High Club = awkward… or awesome, depending on what you’re into).


    Am I the only one using my brains?!

  • Paul July 2, 2008, 8:32 am

    I’m no wonder woman historian, but I believe it was an invisible airplane (prop driven) and she couldn’t fly. So she’d have this plane that was invisible so she could hide it. I also think she couldn’t fly on her own power when she first started, but I’m too lazy to look it up.

  • Paul July 2, 2008, 8:33 am

    I just realized I said she couldn’t fly twice. That’s what I get for writing that in chunks.

  • Great White Snark July 2, 2008, 1:57 pm

    Yeah, I think the “flying” version of Wonder Woman is post-Crisis. Or something like that.

    Anyway, she’s definitely had an invisible jet (i.e., not prop-driven), as well. Or have you not seen Super Friends, Paul? C’mon. That shit is canon, in my book.

    Anyway, see #1 in Nima’s comment for why all other nitpicks are a moot point. For a great example, watch the The New Frontier DVD to see her get blood all over the invisible cockpit after a battle with the Big Bad. It looks ridiculous.

  • Andrew July 7, 2008, 9:53 am

    Hah! Love the list! Though with the hundreds of members in the JLU (well, at least if you go by the big honking JLU cartoon), you’d think they’d have separate men’s and women’s bathrooms onboard. Which makes WW’s tweet pretty darn scary actually!

  • Jack June 2, 2009, 11:49 pm

    @Paul. Of course Munn is not a bad look alike.

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