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Haiku Review: The Ruins Unrated DVD
By Great White Snark | July 29, 2008
I finally had a chance to watch my DVD review copy of The Ruins – Unrated Edition
It’s not that I have anything against graphic self-mutilation or wiggling, three-foot-long mutant worms being pulled from gaping bodily wounds. No, not at all. I usually start my day with a bowl of Cornflakes and a serrated hunting knife dragged across my abdomen, just to see what’s what with my lower intestine.
“Oh, hello,” I say to my innards. “You’re looking quite pink, today. I see Mr. Liver and Mr. Kidney are still neighbors. That’s all well and good. I wonder how Mr. Pancreas is doing… where’s that knife, again?”
Rather than strain my vocabulary constructing three different ways to say “needlessly graphic” and “gross isn’t the same as scary,” I have constructed a Haiku to address my feelings on The Ruins.
There is a brief topless scene.
There is nothing else.
The daylight is not scary.
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Topics: Movies | 3 Comments »
July 30th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Hilarious.
Yeah, this movie didn’t like it was for me at all. I read the plot outline of the novel on wikipedia and it seemed like a good story, but I didn’t feel the need to watch the film.
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I love the blog, I’ve been giggling all evening paging through it.
I’m no venerable Haiku master, but can any minimalist 3 line poem be considered Haiku these days? If my memory of 4th grade english class serves the Haiku requires a strict 5/7/5 syllable structure.
Anal retentive?
Maybe. I am what I am.
But I’m just sayin’…
August 3rd, 2008 at 12:27 am
@Sara, just goes to show you how very, very lazy I was when I wrote this. Which is to say… very.
Glad you’re been enjoying the blog.