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A Jabba the Hutt Cake the Green, Slimy Way It Should Be – Geeky Cake of the Week

I’m phoning this one in, people.  Jokes at a bare minimum.  Because (1) this Jabba the Hutt cake from completely-non-professional cake-maker Marty speaks for itself. It is green, slimy, and stupendous.

And (2), Marty sent me perhaps the best description of a cake I’ve ever received, and its hilarity stands quite nicely on its own.

Jabba the Hutt Cake

I’ll let Marty take it from here. (Except where I can’t help myself.)

I have two boys (8 & 4) that have only a week in between their birthdays. As any self respecting parent would, I cheat them out of any sense of individuality and combine their parties to save a buck.

Finally. A parent who doesn’t think that Junior deserves a $400(?) custom-made birthday cake that he’ll forget as soon as he starts unwrapping his overly-extravagant presents.

You’ll take whatever your loving parents give you, and you’ll damn well like it, kid.

Ok, I’m done. I think.  Anyway, please continue, Marty.

My four year old is reallly into Star Wars now and Jabba is his favorite character (which is a bit weird to me). After I promised him a “Jabba cake” (with no real plan on how to get one) I turned to every geek’s best friend, the Internet. I found a fairly simple recipe for fondant and my wife made it. I mixed in food coloring to make the various pieces.

I laid out the bottom [chocolate] cake flat to create Jabba’s bed (that was a bed right?) then covered it with a slab of fondant. I then kind of just stacked and cut the other chocolate cakes to make what vaguely resembled a giant chocolate turd. My wife then helped me hold the green fondant over the cake and lower it down, molding around the cake.

Jabba Cake Head

I used green and yellow food coloring on a paper towel and blotted it on… I actually think that turned out better than I imagined.

My favorite part was Jabba’s slime. I used green food coloring mixed in Karo syrup, then applied it generously. For the eyes I took two Whoppers candies, applied them in the hallowed out sockets then applied fondant eyelids to make the eyes more squinty (at one point it looked like Jabba had a thyroid disorder).

Mark your calendars.  First use of a thyroid joke on this blog. And a well-executed one, at that.

Jabba Cake Side View

To add finishing touches I added M&M’s on the bed, and made Jabba’s bong (for lack of a better word) out of fondant, a mini York peppermint patty and an upside down mini peanut butter cup. I used a Kabob skewer with a bit of dark green food coloring on thew tip to make Jabbas’s wrinkles, folds and details. A couple of fondant pillow and throw towels and he was done.

At the party my youngest wouldn’t let anyone eat him though… he then proceeded to pull Jabba’s eyes out his sockets and eat them. Like I said, weird kid.

Anyone who can work turd, bong, and thyroid disease references into a cake description and can affectionately call his kid “weird” (I mean, that was affectionate, right, Marty?) is aces in my book.  Cheers, Marty.

Thanks to Mike at TheForce.net for putting Marty and me in touch.

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18 comments… add one

  • Laura E. April 21, 2009, 11:13 pm

    Nice! It looks like it’d actually be pretty good, if it was the right color. The problem with some of the professional cakes is that he becomes a very tidy cartoon rather than the disgusting space poo he really is… this one is more real. The real question, though… how did it taste?

  • Movie Meg April 22, 2009, 8:37 am

    This is excellent; Salacious Crumb is a nice touch. Props to Marty!

  • Shithead April 22, 2009, 12:51 pm

    Well done. I approve.

  • Peety April 28, 2009, 12:40 pm

    Great cake!~ My son is a huge star wars fan. He has about everything else except a Jabba the Cake! Great job, very creative Marty!

  • Johnny Mac April 28, 2009, 1:14 pm

    Wow, that is WAY cool!


  • Xezebien April 28, 2009, 3:03 pm

    A better word for jabba’s smoking utensil would be Hookah.

  • Dan April 28, 2009, 3:28 pm

    Fine, & I know it’s for a kid, but would a sexy Princess Laya have killed you?

  • M April 28, 2009, 3:58 pm

    Thanks Marty. Now my boyfriend is requesting that I make him this cake for his birthday.

  • Television Spy April 28, 2009, 5:08 pm

    Looks great, not sure I’d eat it – he’s a slimy little hutt.

  • arelian200 April 28, 2009, 7:52 pm

    in soviet russia, you eat jabba the hutt!

  • nickolai April 29, 2009, 8:08 am

    Completely awesome. And there’s nothing wrong with liking Jabba that much — is it any weirder than making a cake out of Max Rebo?


  • Christina April 29, 2009, 8:29 am

    Did Marty make the kitchen backsplash out of fondant too?

    (Kidding. What a great dad!)

  • Doctor May 6, 2009, 5:05 am

    The cake describes exactly how you’d feel after eating too much of it!

  • keyword tool May 11, 2009, 11:50 pm

    I think hookah is the proper term, not bong.

  • free of debt May 13, 2009, 3:54 pm

    I like the part where the kid eats the Eyeballs

  • megafoo addurl May 14, 2009, 1:48 pm

    Never have i been so appalled by a dessert

  • political info May 14, 2009, 7:18 pm

    Awesome, i wonder what its insides taste likeP

  • affordable graphic design May 16, 2009, 2:18 pm

    Let me guess, Leia jumps out and sings happy birthday?

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