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Giveaway: Taken – Two-Disc Extended Edition DVD!
By Great White Snark | May 12, 2009
Man. I fuggin’ loved Taken. Just thinking about it makes me want to go karate-chop a white-slave trader in his face.
Unfortunately, I don’t know any white-slave traders. If I did, I would have arranged to sell myself to a Saudi sheik eons ago. You know all the white slaves in Saudi Arabia get Xbox 360s, right?
Anyway. I’m excited about Taken hitting DVD today. And I want to share my excitement with you. Without any inappropriate touching or unlawful indecent exposure.
That’s why I’ve arranged for three giveaway copies of Taken – Two-Disc Extended Edition this week, courtesy of Fox Home Entertainment. That’s three times the usual number of winners, people.
See? I give you freebies and spare you the pain and suffering of simple arithmetic. Sometimes I don’t think you deserve me.
To sign up to win one of three copies of Taken – Two-Disc Extended Edition on DVD:
- If you haven’t already, get an e-mail subscription to Great White Snark. It won’t cost you nuthin’.
- Leave a comment on this post. In the “Mail (will not be published)” field, enter the same e-mail address of your subscription, so I know who you are.
- In the comment, name one of your favorite action- or suspense-movie cliches. I’ll get the party started in the first comment with some gems from my buddy Jeff.
I’ll select the winner at random and announce them in an update to this post next Tuesday, May 19.
UPDATE: There is some Liam Neeson-generated ass-kicking in the near futures of V, nickolai, and ahanovich.
One entry per person. And remember, cheaters never prosper, because I’ve got your IP address, people: duplicate entries are dopey entries. (Plus, I will find you. And I will kill you. Just kidding. But Liam Neeson’s not.) Winners outside the forty-eight contiguous U.S. states pay shipping. Because this ain’t a money tree, it’s just a plain ol’ blog.
Netflix – Only $4.99 a month! No Late Fees. Try it for Free!
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Topics: Contests, Movies | 44 Comments »
Tags: Contests, giveaway, Movies
May 12th, 2009 at 12:05 am
Some excellent action-/suspense-movie cliches (as reinforced by Taken) contributed by my clever, clever friend Jeff:
- Virgins love karaoke
- Virgins love pony rides (innocent stimulation)
- Virgins love milkshakes
- Ex-Marines love to BBQ
- Men who like sex are fat and bald
May 12th, 2009 at 12:23 am
I’m a big fan (okay, I get a huge laugh out) of the following action movie cliches:
1. The inexhaustible clip (hero, villain, or henchmen).
2. The henchmen who can’t hit a moving target, even with a sub-machine (they always shoot where the runner was, rather than where he’s going).
3. If you’re bald, you’re probably a low-level scrub in the criminal organization. If you have a goatee and you’re bald, you’re evil through and through. Nope, no redemption for you.
4. Heroes getting shot or stabbed and suffering minor blood loss and never going into shock (or slowing down for that matter).
May 12th, 2009 at 12:57 am
love action flick cliches! and to build onto Mel’s list:
1. The henchmen who so easily seem to be knocked out w/1 or 2 hits (shots) and yet never seem to “wake up” or get off the ground. Even better when they are ninjas.
2. The hero who walks away unfazed and unmoved by the explosion burst behind him or her (see: Wolverine & countless others).
3. The arch-enemy/super-villain “monologuing” segment (thx Incredibles!). ’nuff said.
May 12th, 2009 at 1:09 am
As a physicist, there are a bunch of cliches I see all the time that annoy me, but are favorites of the movie industry:
-Big explosions in space!
-Bullet shots creating explosions/flashing when bullets are shot.
-Crashing through windows and only getting a few small cuts.
Some of my own:
-Secret mysterious organization/conspiracy that only the protagonist is aware of or can affect.
-Incompetent henchmen
May 12th, 2009 at 2:23 am
“I told you to stay away from this case! Give me your badge!”
May 12th, 2009 at 5:18 am
My personal favorite is how easily everything explodes or catches on fire, especially cars, boats, and planes involved in the most minor of collisions.
May 12th, 2009 at 5:44 am
Fruit cart!
Where do you ever see them randomly on the street in real life? Yet they’re in the middle of a block in ANY chase sequence in an action movie for the sole purpose of being toppled.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:05 am
It’s gotta be the indestructable hero. Quantum of Solace? Bond bounced and fell off of everything in Siena and then walked away with nothing but a few face scratches.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:08 am
My favorite all-time movie cliche:
The super hot guy/girl getting saved somehow by the geeky guy/girl and finally realizing that they’re the love of his/her life and falling for them. Because you know THAT crap happens ALL THE TIME in real life, instead of the hot one pretending the saving was the other way around.
Also:
1. The long-time rivals suddenly becoming friends by the end of the movie, a la the “wing man” scene in Top Gun (does that even count as action?). “You can be my wing man anytime!”
2. I have to ditto the unending clip thing. That’s always bothered me.
3. Horrible-shot evil henchmen vs. sharp shooting good guy henchmen. Is it really that hard to find good (evil?) help?
May 12th, 2009 at 7:13 am
The best is the overconfident villain who looks around a corner with a gun saying: “Come out, come out wherever you are!”
Unless they can follow through with a rousing game of ring-around-the rosy, I don’t want to hear it ever again.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:14 am
Favorite action movie cliches:
1. Bad Guys come in seemingly endless numbers and can’t hit anything they shoot at.
2. Hero has unlimited ammo and never has to change magazines or reload. (see Ahnold in Predator with his minigun)
3: Bullets blowing stuff that they hit up. Cars, Gas Cans etc.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Oooooh, priceless! Let’s see:
1.- The car will blow up if you shoot at it.
2.- Shots will be fired in a crowd… adn nobody gets hit. Not even the bad guys.
3.- If the main guy is an assassin, he’s always… the best in the business.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:17 am
favorite cliche: hero gets beaten into near-death and takes mere hours to recover enough to defeat his opponent…
Two of my other faves…
1.) the bad guy never dies (always has an escape route and comes back in the next movie!)
2.) the bad guys never attack simultaneously even though they have the good guy(s) surrounded and vastly outnumbered!
May 12th, 2009 at 7:37 am
1. Villians with incredible resources (infinite henchmen, secret moon/volcano/space station base, impossible technology) yet very small goals. Most Bond villains could make more money in the free market than they could with their Secret Plan.
2. Sidekicks with that one useless skill that the hero needs at just the right time. See: Ron Weasley (Chess)
3. Training Montages.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:48 am
My favorite action movie cliches:
The hot girl being chased is always in heels. (never sneakers)
If there is a formal get together, there will be a shootout/explosions.
Characters from other planets ALWAYS speak English.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:56 am
The main bad guy is never dead until they have been shot at close range. Their henchmen are all dead after one shot, but the main bad guy will always have one more last ditch effort to pick up his gun and shoot, missing his mark, giving the hero time to turn around and shoot him one last time.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:57 am
-Obligatory One-Liners of Pure Cheese. In Commando, Arnold Schwarzenegger pins a guy to a vat with a pipe. Steam billows out of the end. “Let off some steam, Bennett.”
-The Hulk Syndrome. The hero is getting a royal beatdown, it looks like he’s done for. But wait…he blocks a punch, he rises to one knee, suddenly he’s back up and every meaty fist hits its target. The villain is no match and succumbs.
-Mata Hari with a Heart of Gold. Seemingly good girl, outrageously sexy woman seduces our hero with her womanly wiles only to turn him over to the enemy. The surprise is on her, though. His manly manliness broke through to her unicorn-loving little girl heart and she takes a bullet for him. The hero always manages to hear her declaration of love or grateful thanks of redemption through her burble of blood.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:58 am
I’ve never understood the ability to take punches…or just plain physical damage without losing a step…
Just beat me to hell for 10 minutes…and I’ll run after you and then we’ll fight more…after you hit me in the face with a pot…as hard as you can…
May 12th, 2009 at 8:09 am
I’ll second the indestructible hero. Also, henchmen who attack one at a time so the hero always has plenty of time and opportunity to dispatch of them efficiently.
May 12th, 2009 at 8:20 am
My favorite cliche is when the danger is mounting, and almost inevitably, someone will say “C’mon, we gotta get out of here!” Listen for it, it happens more often than you’d expect!
May 12th, 2009 at 8:31 am
When semis, cars, motorcycles, etc. explode in a giant fireball, a la Michael Bay. Come to think of it, Michael Bay is pretty much the biggest action movie cliche.
May 12th, 2009 at 8:50 am
The bad guys with guns all have HORRIBLE aim.
May 12th, 2009 at 9:04 am
The hero is dangling off the side of a building/cliff, the villain is smirking at him, and decides to step on his fingers. He never just shoots the hero in the face! (Suddenly, the baddy doesn’t want to waste ammo.)
May 12th, 2009 at 9:21 am
I like how whenever there’s a female character, it doesn’t matter what she’s wearing throughout the rest of the movie, but during the action, she’ll usually end up in just a tank top covering her chest, if she’s lucky. And it’ll usually be white. And for some reason, it’ll probably get wet.
May 12th, 2009 at 9:42 am
– Action movie baddies love classical music — oh my, how cultured! How evil!
– Action movie heroes like to chop lumber — so manly
– Action movie women are foreign — exotic!
May 12th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Cliche? Hmmm… What about how the badass action hero always has that ONE love that got away who happens to show up mixed in with the current trouble that’s brewing?
Unless they make a sequel that is. ‘Cause then (if the love interest doesn’t return) there’s always that SECOND or THIRD once-in-a-lifetime-love that got away who happens to show up mixed in with the current trouble that’s brewing.
May 12th, 2009 at 10:00 am
The good guy never makes sure the villain is dead. He sees the bad guy lying on the floor, and just assumes that he’s dead instead of checking for a pulse, nudging him with a stick, shooting him some more, etc.
May 12th, 2009 at 10:20 am
- When in doubt cover yourself with mud to surprise the enemy, yum I love this one.
– Women make better “henchmen” than men and need a badass fight scene to be taken out (see Live Free Die Hard, Goldeneye,etc)
– Nothing motivates a man more than killing the woman he loves, even if he just met her.
– To get a helicopter to land you must wave it in with a large arm gesture.
– Cars never just go over a cliff, they have to hang there for a while first, better hurry.
May 12th, 2009 at 11:04 am
The little kids will always survive, unless you haven’t been given names for them. No need to upset your audience with violence during an action movie!
I also love how every mid level and up hench person is an able martial artist, just like the hero. No need to just punch someone. (Hence why I love Indiana Jones just shooting a guy instead of a drawn out sequence.)
The obligatory sex scenes, usually with a sheet covering most of her, and his chest bared. His unscarred flesh, unbruised, and amazingly shiny body on display, before they resume objectifying hers. Because a man who does this sort of violent thing often, is going to be free of scars.
This is the best set of comments I have read in a long time too…
May 12th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
- the size of knives/guns are usually proportionate to the bad-assness of the character (hero or villain).
May 12th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I love how the women in action movies always look PERFECT when they’re running around and being shot at, as if they’ve always got a makeup artist and several changes of clothes following them around. The ability of heroines (and heroes, if you’re James Bond) to pull formal wear out of their asses at a moment’s notice always astounds me. Just once, I’d like to see a scene in which a character crawls into a clothing store in clothes that are absolutely wrecked and has to shop for clothes quickly, possibly while being tailed by a villian, and having to explain what’s up to the staff of the store.
May 12th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
My faves:
The hero never runs out of ammo.
Explosions take the place of plot (looking at you Transformers).
May 12th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
@Chris: In the context of Michael Bay, that’s actually spelled: ‘SPLOSIONS!
May 12th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I like how in action movies (or sci-fi, or horror, etc.) the threat is always in the Good ‘Ol U.S. of A. When aliens/terrorists/monsters attack they really don’t have anywhere else to go but here. And if they do happen to “get lost” and attack another country, we always find a way to take over and deal with the situation “our way”. Aren’t we just swell?!
May 12th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Probably my fav is when the good guy “finds” an unexploded, but pinless grenade, looks at it, looks around, makes a phone call, screams for 7-9 minutes about getting everyone off the bus/out of the building/off the roof/out of the plane, runs around and finally throws the “live” grenade in a last ditch attempt to save everyone and the thing finally blows up about 15 minutes after the hero originally found it. And then everyone, especially the hero, emerges from said explosion with no shrapnel injuries. Ahhhhh..the magic of movies!
May 12th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
The fact that you can never damage a car in an Ahnaald movie. Commando…. he rubs the porche against the other car until it tips over. After dispatching the driver… pushes the car back onto it’s wheels…. not a scratch.
May 12th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Most of my faves have already been mentioned: never-ending ammo, the good guys rarely get bruises (if they do, the severity never matches the violence inflicted), and, of course, the total inability for henchmen to hit their target (although sometimes I wonder if it is really the crazy ability of heroes to dodge bullets).
May 12th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
the guy that takes on leagues of goons singlehandedly and gets away with it.
without it there’d be no Die Hard 1 and 3, Taken, Commando, True Lies, Total Recall, annnd…there’s dozens of them but i can’t pull them out.
yes, this cliche is a force of nature. it’s so cliche that my talking about it is cliche; that, my talking about how cliche talking about it is cliche.
May 12th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
As a female my least favorite action movie cliche is the female who stands by and watches as her hero/man gets beaten to a pulp. Do something sister.
The cliche that really, really bugs me though is the car that can catch up to another car a mile ahead but when it gets within 10 feet it can’t gain anymore ground.
May 13th, 2009 at 5:45 am
I love how when the killer is chasing you, you turn into a klutz. or that the killer who is walking at a slow pace manages to catch the sprinting person. wow.
May 14th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
My least favorite cliché has to be when the hero is getting beaten up and fighting for her safety and protecting his mistress while she awaits for his safe return watching him fight while she does nothing.
May 15th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
one cliche is letting your guard down when you think you have won but really the killer is still alive. don’t slump down or sit around relaxing. run away!
May 19th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
the hero gets shot, then continues on like nothing happened.
bad guys have automatic weapons but never hit much, hero has a 6-shooter and takes them all out.
May 20th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Congrats to the winners: V, nickolai, and ahanovich.