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The Top Five Awful Harry Potter Tattoos

By Great White Snark | July 16, 2009

After a temporary ebb, Harry Potter enthusiasm has flowed once again thanks to the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in theaters this week.

But some fans drinketh of the cup of fandom a little too deeply.

5) Voldemort Tattoo – The Un-sexy-fier


The last thing I want to see on a woman’s naked leg (where this particular ink can be found) is a portrait of an angry bald dude with a gaping nasal cavity and bad teeth.

On the list of things that put me in the mood, that’s right up there with being stripped, covered with catnip, and thrown in a barrel of angry strays.

On a Somali pirate ship being piloted too close to a rocky shore by a sloppy-drunk David Hasselhoff.

Not sexy.

4) A Too-Pretty Harry Potter Portrait Tattoo


Sorry, scratch that last thought. The last thing you want tattooed on one of your limbs is a portrait of an underage boy portrayed to look a lot like a pretty, underage girl.

Except maybe in Thailand. I hear it’s a bit easier to get away with that kind of nonsense over there.

3) The “I like Dumbledore, just not in that way” Tattoo

Oh, man. Homophobia’s a bitch when you unwittingly plaster the face of an old, gay dude across your back. From The Sun:

Proud Paul, 36, spent a YEAR having the Hogwarts headmaster etched into his skin as a surprise for his five kids.

But the factory worker has been the butt of jokes ever since Harry Potter author JK Rowling revealed last week that Dumbledore was in love with a fellow male sorcerer.

Paul, of Nottingham, moaned yesterday: “It’s been terrible. I’ve always liked Dumbledore – just not in that way.”


2) Harry Potter Quote as a Dirty Euphemism Tattoo

I Open at the Close Tattoo

Yes, I understand that this quote represents an important plot turn in the final book of the Harry Potter series.  And I’m sure the bearer of this ink had innocent intentions.

But if a lower-back tattoo that says, “I open at the close,” isn’t an invitation for having intercourse in the netherest of regions… then I don’t know what is.

1) Harry Potter Neck Tattoo


And she lived happily ever after, secure in the knowledge that no one would take her seriously, ever, ever again. Ever.

Find Harry Potter temporary tattoos on Ebay

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  • Topics: Movies, Tattoos | 22 Comments »

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    22 Responses to “The Top Five Awful Harry Potter Tattoos”

    1. Wavatar grumpyhawk Says:
      July 17th, 2009 at 7:23 am

      #3 should be more embarrassed by the absolutely horrible tribal tattoos on his shoulder. at least the dumbledore looks like decent work.

    2. Wavatar Alexandra Says:
      July 17th, 2009 at 7:30 am

      Wow! Posts 3 days in a row. :) have you come back from the twit-side?

      Ok, those are some bad tattoos. Faces never a good idea. Just asking for regret a few years down the road.
      The “I open at the close” would be fine as an armband or anklet.
      Placement people! Three most important things in tattoo real estate: Location, location, location.

    3. Wavatar Movie Meg Says:
      July 17th, 2009 at 8:15 am

      #4 is Amy Poehler as Harry Potter. Gotta be.

    4. Wavatar Shanyn Says:
      July 17th, 2009 at 8:56 am

      What’s up with Voldemort being blue?!?

    5. Wavatar Great White Snark Says:
      July 17th, 2009 at 4:37 pm

      @Alexandra: I promise more posts (now that I’ve emerged from a product launch at the Job of Realness) if you promise to keep the delightful comments coming.

      @Movie Meg: I’m seeing Rachel Weisz.

    6. Wavatar pegolas Says:
      July 19th, 2009 at 1:37 pm

      Every time I think, “Gee I reaaaaaally need to get myself that Serenity tattoo”, I see a post like this; and am once again left to ponder the sanity of it.

    7. Wavatar Ronnie Says:
      July 19th, 2009 at 8:47 pm

      tattoo is so cool

      #4 is Amy Poehler as Harry Potter. Gotta be.

    8. Wavatar Waffle Says:
      July 19th, 2009 at 8:52 pm

      I know where a “Mischief Managed” tattoo would fit perfectly…

    9. Wavatar Dario Tibay: The Top Five Awful Harry Potter Tattoos & Great White Snark « Harry Potter Says:
      July 20th, 2009 at 1:28 am

      […] Dario Tibay: The Top Five Awful Harry Potter Tattoos & Great White Snark […]

    10. Wavatar Sid Says:
      July 20th, 2009 at 2:49 am

      why is your page so mean….maybe people like the tattoos they have and more people than you like them as well….I think you need anger management or you need a girlfriend that YOU won’t piss off~ just saying

    11. Wavatar themehmeh Says:
      July 20th, 2009 at 10:59 am

      first off the catnip would prolly make them happy cuddly strays. possibly even adorable ones.

      second no matter where you say “i open at the close” if it’s on your body it’s going to be inappropriate.

    12. Wavatar savethebestforlast Says:
      July 23rd, 2009 at 9:16 am

      i just don’t get being so into a fictional character that you would get a tattoo of them. dumbledore? voldemort? are you gonna get a job with a huge color tattoo of someone that everyone else realizes DOESN’T exist?

    13. Wavatar riotgear Says:
      July 27th, 2009 at 7:36 pm

      Am I the only one that thinks that Harry looks more like Hillary Clinton in tat #4?

    14. Wavatar ithappens Says:
      September 1st, 2009 at 9:26 am

      the last one looks like a friend drew with gel pens pens etc on her neck. i have to conclude that it is not a tattoo.

    15. Wavatar Shea Says:
      December 7th, 2009 at 1:56 am

      I’m a tattoo artist, and let me tell you.. people get WAY more idioctic things tattooed on them.

      I’d rather see Voldemort’s portrait on someone’s leg, than their Ex’s.

      Also, I’m getting a Harry Potter sleeve from my knee to my ankle/foot and i can think of a LOT of guys, Harry Potter fans or not, that’ll still want to bone me…

    16. Wavatar shay Says:
      January 16th, 2010 at 3:13 am

      SO i suppose that a meaningless butterfly tattoo is better than something that actually has some form of meaning to some people. Only morons with dirty perverted minds would think I open at the close is something sexual. Yes she could of put it in a better place but only hp fans know the true meaning of it and that is something others wont understand. I think these tattoos are great and these fans are devoted to hp. At least they are passionate about something unlike some other people.

    17. Wavatar Airaloske Says:
      March 21st, 2010 at 9:31 pm

      #1 (the neck tat) would look better somewhere other than the neck. somewhere concealable so that one could still be gainfully employed.

      I’ve been considering an HP tat for awhile, but it’ll definitely be somewhere inconspicuous.

    18. Wavatar Airaloske Says:
      March 21st, 2010 at 9:32 pm

      and the Voldy tat is really well-done, just kinda AAAAHIMGONNAEATCHA!

    19. Wavatar shona Says:
      November 8th, 2010 at 12:29 am

      How cringingly awful and embarrasing, I feel sorry for anyone who even considers getting a HP tattoo, or any film tattoo for that matter. Good luck with the removal in the future for those who have one already haha.

    20. Wavatar Emma Says:
      November 8th, 2010 at 3:06 pm

      The Voldemort one is actually kinda scary. ;s

      But I think the ‘I open at the close’ would be good if in a..more decent place and possibly a ‘-H.P’ afterwards.

      Ah well, what people do to themselves..

    21. Wavatar C Says:
      November 14th, 2010 at 1:23 am

      The Voldermort tattoo actually wouldn’t be too bad if it wasn’t such a bright shade of blue. If I were going to get a tattoo like this I would have it a bit smaller and in a place where it can easily be covered. Similarly the last one would be slightly better if it were in a covered place.

      Each to their own, I guess…

    22. Wavatar Lin Says:
      March 26th, 2011 at 1:53 am

      I don’t really believe that getting yourself a tattoo makes you a devoted fan. So if I go and snatch myself a tattoo of anything I’m instantly a devoted fan? No it makes me someone who doesn’t know how to make wise choices. I think that these tattoos could have been made with a little more taste/creativity/better. There was a person who got the deathly hallows symbols in an okay place. They were also well done.

      This is coming from someone who has never wanted to permanently imprint their skin. To mention it, a tacky ugly tattoo won’t become less ugly or tacky even if it’s of something amazing. Your going to have a fucked up body for the rest of your life. This is essentially a colorful scar.

      Was there ever something wrong with just dressing up? So if one day you liked it but a little less into it than you used to be you could just ‘ shed your skin’? Number one looks as if it was done with a black artists pen and marker haha.

      Number two? Notorious tramp stamp area with just as bad quotation? I’m not saying she isn’t deriving the meaning from Harry Potter just as well. But I’m not naive enough to think it’s not there for another reason IMHO.

      I’m not a prude I have just always happened to find skin in its natural glory the most beautiful thing of all.