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The Top Five Awful Death Star Cakes – PART DEUX!

It’s been so long since I identified the original Top Five Awful Death Star Cakes, amateur cake-makers have had ample time to produce a new crop of horrible confectionery likenesses of the Imperial battle station from Star Wars.

So, time to refresh the list and insult the well-intentioned work of some lovely people. Because pettiness is a language we can all agree on.


Death Star Cake 1

That’s not a Death Star cake. That’s a wicker-person’s hand picking up a Fabergé egg knockoff from a shelf the Dollar Store.

Bonus hilarity: “coolest-birthday-cakes.com” has unironically laid claim to the photo. Way to set the “cool” bar low enough for someone to trip over, coolest-birthday-cakes.com.


Death Star Cake Pangea

This is how I imagine Earth looked after massive tectonic shifts broke Pangea apart.

(I should mention that my imagination has the processing power of an 8-bit Nintendo.)


Death Star Cake Bedazzled

That’s no moon. That’s a space station. That’s been attacked by a Bedazzler.


Death Star Cake Flies

Proof that if you slather your cake with poo-like features, it will attract flies. Shaped like space ships.


Death Star Cake Sinkhole

No, dear. A simple two-layer cake with a sinkhole does not a “Death Star cake” make.

Find Star Wars desserts and other recipes in Wookiee Cookies: A Star Wars Cookbook.

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3 comments… add one
  • Alexandra September 25, 2009, 10:27 am

    Oh…my. Those are unbelievably horrible. I don’t think I would have guessed what any of them are supposed to be.
    Uh…really? Awwww, bless ’em, poor things.
    Thanks for the laugh. You know I love you lists AND cakes. :)

  • Shanyn September 28, 2009, 8:35 am

    I would pay real money to see Darth Vader wielding a Bedazzler…that image just made my whole day.

  • nickolai September 29, 2009, 1:06 pm

    Why not just make a round cake and write ‘Death Star’ on it? Although, I kind of like the Bedazzler version…

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