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So Meaty: Zombie Mints

No, not little peppermints in a novelty zombie tin. These are zombie mints in the sense that they make your breath smell like zombie’s.

Seriously, though. Check out the list of ingredients: dextrose, maltodextrin, magnesium stearate, titanium dioxide, and artificial meat flavor.

So, now you can go about your day knowing that such a thing as “artificial meat flavor” exists. And if you can think of a practical application for it beyond novelty candy and dog food, I’ll salute you in the best way I know how: a begrudgingly nod that acknowledges you’re not quite as simple as I thought you were.

Yeah. Don’t go jumping all over yourselves trying to impress me now that you know the riches of validation that await you.

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5 comments… add one
  • nickolai October 5, 2009, 1:36 pm

    I don’t need no fancy mints to make my breath smell like funky meat.

  • Kristi October 11, 2009, 7:41 am

    I believe they use that artificial meat flavor in cooking oil for french fries now that they don’t use lard (in order to be trans-fat free). Just a random nugget of info to add to your repertoire.

  • Mary October 12, 2009, 12:07 pm

    A friend bought them for me – I popped a couple in my mouth, not reading the ingredients first.
    Sweet spam.
    I spit them out almost instantly as I felt my stomach roil.
    The taste… lingers…

  • Great White Snark October 12, 2009, 11:10 pm

    @Kristi: Color me impressed. (I.e., reddish-yellow.)

    @Mary: That strikes me as the only reasonable reaction.

  • HamatoKameko May 1, 2010, 8:06 pm

    These. Are. Horrific.

    I am zombie obsessed. I bought them for the tin, knowing they were not actually mint. I didn’t dare taste one.

    What stunned me was the smell. The SMELL alone is enough to make your stomach turn–and I’ve got one strong stomach!

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