Listen, Japan, your shameful fetishes, heartless TV pranks, and ridiculous, over-the-top game shows (link NSFWish) have all been fun, games, and giggles for the rest of us. But that was when you were directing your antics solely at your adult population.
Now you’ve gone too far.
I spent the first minute or so of this (subtitled) video infuriated with the producers, actors, parents, and studio audience who conspired to make these little, impressionable kids think that their home was being invaded by an honest-to-goodness zombie. (And then they laughed about it! Sadistic bastards.)
But then the little fella in the #05 Colorado jersey happened.
Move over, Any Guy Who Gets to Make Out with Kristen Bell, ’cause this young man is my new hero. I don’t use the word “epic” that often, but the double-sword beat-down of the zombie at 3:39 was epic. Other gems:
“Come here, you stupid! I will destroy you!” (2:31)
To the douche with the microphone: “Don’t you dare say the zombie will get me, you don’t help at all!” (3:18)
I hope the kid’s prize for surviving his TV experience is an exit visa to Sweden.
Via Reddit, who was going to start an amnesty program for little kids victimized by Japanese TV shows, but then got distracted thinking about making out with Kristen Bell.