Last September, I posted the insane-o trailer for Robot, Bollywood’s cracked-out version of a big-budget SyFy Original Movie, and we all absolutely lavished in the garish spectacle of its shameless over-the-topness.
Today’s good news is that a full nine minutes of footage from Robot have hit the intertubules (complete with commentary in Russian!*), and it’s got Japan looking over its shoulder in the International Batshit Relay Race. You can check out the footage, below.
Further, enjoy these quotes from the Robot press kit, which clearly sprang from the same spring of 18o-proof ambrosia that fueled the director of the film:
Mission – creating a andro-humanoid robot – Chitti
Andro-humanoid robot? That’s basically like an android, but with a lot more syllables, right?
Purpose – to help the society
And, apparently, to break lots of shit in the process.
Development time – 10 years
Well. Andro-humanoid robot development doesn’t happen overnight.
Configurations – speed one terra hz, memory one zeta byte, processor Pentium ultra core millennia V2, FHP 450 motor from Hirata, Japan
A Pentium? You loaded this thing up with “one zeta byte” of memory, and didn’t bother to upgrade the processor to a model manufactured after the 1990s?
Oh, well. I guess the good news is that your andro-humanoid robot is powered by a motor featured in the power seats of many popular automobiles.
Special Features – A human who is not born but is created. He can dance, sing, fight, is water and fire resistant. He can do all that a human can do and more. He feeds on electricity. He takes instructions literally. Where a human can lie to save himself this andro-humanoid robot Chitti cannot lie.
Of course he can’t lie. His Pentium barely has enough computing power to operate a set of elevator doors as it is.
Trouble shooting – Where he has a razor sharp memory and can memorize an entire telephone directory by just running through the pages, he cannot understand human emotions. Dr. Vasi upgrades Chitti’s processor and simulates human emotions without realizing the repercussions. Chitti gets transformed. He can now feel, and the first feeling that he discovers is Love.
OF COURSE IT IS.
Via LikeCool, who thinks Chitti’s processor was obviously upgraded to a Core 2 Duo, which sports that fancy “feelings” technology.
* Which is like the salmon garnish on a raisin-and-sauerkraut sandwich.