But before you start click-clacking an email out to Barbarann, asking how she might help you spoil your own child in an outlandish fashion with confectionery artwork, know that she is but a mere cake hobbyist.

Photo Credit: Cake Rhapsody on Flickr

That is, she made this and her other amazing cakes out of love for the art. And also because she hates getting recognized for her copious, impressive work with monetary remuneration.

Totally. Don’t we all.

Via technabob, who will absolutely accept your “remuneration,” even though you could have just said “cash” and saved everybody some time.

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Photo Credit: DigiNik13 on Flickr

And I’ve seen dogs in heat less suuuuuper-happy to see you than E.T.’s finger. In the photo below, even E.T. seems to be concerned with what’s going on with that thing.

Photo Credit: Devrah on Flickr

You know what they say: see your doctor if it stays erect for more than four hours.*

* Aaaaaaaaaand… boner joke.

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Just check out the phenomenal amount of sculpting that went into this Captain America cake: the contours of the face, the smooth, symmetrical curves of the shield, the scales of the armor, and the unnervingly-distracting bulge of that codpiece.

Photo Credit: kimberlychapman on Flickr

No, seriously… look at that thing. (The unnerving bulge, I mean.) I only wish that I could stop looking at it. Once you notice it, you can’t un-notice it.

I just can’t help but wonder about the deliberate, special care that was taken by the cake artisan to make sure that we all know that this Captain America cake is anatomically correct. (Or is at least anatomically… anatomical.)

* And by “pour”, I mean the photos were pretty much available last week, but I’ll post them when I damn well ready, thankyouverymuch.

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And by “goodness”, I mean fugging fugg-tacular cake artistry in the form of this Lord of the Rings Gollum cake by Brian Stevens of Crazy Cakes.

Talent scouts from the TLC network saw Brian’s work at the show and asked him to appear on an upcoming episode of “Ultimate Cake Off,” one of their 17 cake-themed shows.

Photo Credit: kimberlychapman on Flickr

Which means that we can fairly assume that the scouts from TLC have at least 1/6th of my impeccably-good taste.

Thanks to Kyla for the tip.

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Photo Credit: DigiNik13 on Flickr

I just can’t tell if the cake artisan has captured this young Na’vi in a state of “oh, shit!” right before his tree-home is demolished by the Evil Human Forces, or if the little fella has just discovered the marvels of sucking on his own nerve endings.

Thanks to Kyla for the tip.

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Which is practically 2/17ths of a recipe. Don’t say I never gave you anything.

So, the one at the bottom, that’s Locutus. The one up and to the left from him is Seven of Nine. And the one to the …. OMG SOMEONE STOP ME BEFORE I AM ASSIMILATED BY THE HIVE MIND THAT IS STAR TREK NERDITY.

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Behold their H.R. Giger Alien cake inspired by the Swiss nightmare-surrealist, who won a Visual Effects Oscar for Alien, don’tcha know.

Photo Credit: Jet City Cakes

You will never see a more unusually-docile pair of alien chestbursters.

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Nothing says “love” like sarcasm, eh? Josh must be a very lucky guy.

Just kidding, Mara. I bet Josh was too enthralled with his cake to notice you berating him. I’m sure he’s doing just fine.

it was devil’s food with chocolate frosting dyed black. Cobra Kai symbol was made out of fondant and piped with royal icing.

…and the “SWEEP THE LEG” quote adorning the side of the cake was crafted with fondant and flavored with Daniel Laruso’s tears.

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And between his flattery of me and the intense fantastic-ness of the cake (and then some more flattery of me)… I decided to post it.*

From Chad:

…for our friends Greg and Kristin’s wedding. We used [...] technical schematics and a die cast model to carve the cake into scale.  The cake was then covered in various places with either modeling chocolate, fondant, or both.  This was our first car cake, and it took us about 24 hours total to make it, but we had a great time and Greg and Kristin loved it!

If only it could drive around in Back to the Future town square cake. Stupid scale issues.

* Chad’s right, I really am incredibly gracious.

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Photo Credit: klinqueen on Flickr

Which I’m pretty sure is about the nicest thing you can say in “Klingon” to Star Trek nerds.

Via Retroist, who lives long-ish, semi-prosperously.

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