Movies
« Previous EntriesThe Top Five Reasons the Wolverines Will Not Last Five Minutes in the Red Dawn Remake
Monday, July 14th, 2008Few iconic 1980s genre movies have escaped Hollywood’s continuing “CGI makes everything better!”-inspired efforts to remake all pop culture entities from that era into newer, shinier, and explosion-ier versions.
These creatively-challenged plans have claimed as their latest casualty Red Dawn, a 1984 flick about a small group of Colorado high schoolers who wage guerrilla warfare against [...]
Battle of the Redundant Geek Movies: The Spiderwick Chronicles vs. Zathura
Monday, July 7th, 2008Last week, while watching my review DVD copy of (wait for it… here comes the plug in 3… 2… 1…) The Spiderwick Chronicles 2-Disc Field Guide Edition from Paramount, I realized… hey! This is basically the same damn movie as Zathura.
(Which is essentially the same damn movie as Jumanji. But that would have [...]
Review: Futurama - The Beast with a Billion Backs DVD
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008In theory, it seemed like a good idea: release four, all-new, direct-to-DVD Futurama movies, which would subsequently be broken up into sixteen episodes that would be aired on Comedy Central.
In practice, watching four standalone episodes with a common plot thread mushed into a single 90-minute movie is a lot like listening to a four-year-old tell [...]
Retro Snark: Updated! Ten Pieces of Advice for Christian Bale as John Connor in Terminator 4
Monday, June 23rd, 2008Terminator Salvation (i.e., the artist formerly known as Terminator 4) ain’t even hitting theaters until Memorial Day of 2009, but that hasn’t put the bug spray to the buzz of news and rumors about the flick in recent weeks.
I figure it’s time to dust off my advice for Mr. Dark Knight Returns in his role [...]
Battle of the Redundant Geek Movies: Street Fighter vs Double Dragon
Friday, June 20th, 2008In this 1994 production based on a popular martial arts combat video game, a pair of scrappy brothers-in-arms–one Asian, one white–join a diverse group of do-gooders battling a diabolical madman trying to harness the power of a weapon that will allow him to take over the world.
Double that synopsis and you’ve got Street Fighter and [...]
The Top Five Actors to Consider Casting in the Beavis & Butt-Head Movie
Monday, June 9th, 2008Last month, Mike Judge–creator Office Space, Idiocracy, and King of the Hill, screenplays and TV shows paying tribute to America’s can’t-do spirit and utter mediocrity–raised the possibility of a live-action adaptation of Beavis & Butt-Head.
Which is weird, because I thought I saw this already. On Fox. When it was called The Simple Life, [...]
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