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« Previous Entries Next Entries »The Top Five Girliest Vampire Movies
Monday, August 18th, 2008As long as there’s been a Hollywood, there have been otherwise-scary vampire flicks specifically-designed to appeal to the swooning teen girl demographic.
Oh, and as long as there’s been a Hollywood, there have been producers snorting lines of coke off of the asses of high-priced hookers. But that’s a subject for another post. Which [...]
The Top Ten Most Annoying Voices in Geek Movies
Friday, August 8th, 2008There’s nothing like getting ripped from the escapism of a well-crafted sci-fi, fantasy, comic book, or animated movie by the sound of an actor’s distractingly-annoying voice.
It’s like getting a phone call when LOST is on. Someone, somewhere clearly should have known better.
Speaking of not knowing better, it’s no accident that several of these [...]
Bloodrayne vs. Blade - Battle of the Redundant Geek Movies
Monday, August 4th, 2008It’s cinematic, it’s geeky, it’s symptomatic of the black hole that is Hollywood’s imagination, it’s… Battle of the Redundant Geek Movies!
This episode’s bout features two opponents who haven’t been so unevenly matched since Dan Quayle took on a fifth grader in a spelling contest.
Redundant synopses… commence!
A leather-clad, sword-wielding, half-vampire whose mother was viciously attacked by [...]
The Top Five Hot Actresses Roundly Ignored by Fanboys at Comic-Con 2008
Friday, August 1st, 2008I’ve seen it for myself several times, now: sometimes comic book conventions can be gayer than the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy driving Mazda Miatas to a wine and cheese party at Clay Aiken’s house to listen to Liza Minnelli records. Which–if you’ve ever sat through three lame punchlines on Will [...]
Haiku Review: The Ruins Unrated DVD
Tuesday, July 29th, 2008I finally had a chance to watch my DVD review copy of The Ruins - Unrated Edition, and the results weren’t pretty.
It’s not that I have anything against graphic self-mutilation or wiggling, three-foot-long mutant worms being pulled from gaping bodily wounds. No, not at all. I usually start my day with a bowl [...]
The Top Five Reasons the Wolverines Will Not Last Five Minutes in the Red Dawn Remake
Monday, July 14th, 2008Few iconic 1980s genre movies have escaped Hollywood’s continuing “CGI makes everything better!”-inspired efforts to remake all pop culture entities from that era into newer, shinier, and explosion-ier versions.
These creatively-challenged plans have claimed as their latest casualty Red Dawn, a 1984 flick about a small group of Colorado high schoolers who wage guerrilla warfare against [...]
