6) The Spider-Man Tramp Stamp (P.S. WTF?)

Source: Ugliest Tattoos

Nice job. Now, every time someone looks at you from behind, they’re going to wonder why Spider-Man’s spider-sense is tingling and he’s asking himself “WTF?” while he’s in the immediate vicinity of a potentially vaporous region of your body.

This is a pretty good prank; I’m just wondering why you decided to play it on yourself.

5) The Spider-Man Symbol Back Tattoo

Source

Um. Hey. I think you’ve got something on your back.

4) The Spider-Man Sock Tattoo

Source

Further evidence that no one has ever un-ironically said, “Hey, check out that wicked sock tattoo.”

3) The Overgrown Spider-Man Symbol Chest Tattoo

Source: GWS

Winner of the 2011 Award for Most Likely to Creep a Girl Out when Taking off His Shirt.

2) The Ripped Chest Skin Spider-Man Tattoo

Source: The Internets

I spoke too soon.

1) The Terrible Spider-Man Figure Tattoos

Source: Ugliest Tattoos

I’m not sure what’s more distracting in this Spider-Man tattoo: what passes for Spidey’s right leg, the bloody webbing, or the prospect that someone let an enthusiastic sixth-grader experiment with tattooing for the first time.

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Or maybe you wouldn’t be surprised. I hear cynicism is contagious, and I’ve been drinking out of your mug when you weren’t looking.

8) The These-Are-Definitely-Not-Batman’s-Pecs Batman Symbol Chest Tattoo

Source

“Bird-chested” and “Batman” aren’t typically two things that go together.

7) The “I Am Batman” Hand Tattoo

Source

I am… losing any chance of respect from future employers, in-laws, and grandchildren.

…going to regret this.

…not at all Batman.

6) The Batpug Tattoo

Source: UgliestTattoos.com

Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana BATPUUUUUUG!

…is sad that you treat your back like a laboratory of permanent ink.

5) The Hairy, Dripping Batman Symbol Tattoo

Source

Well, there’s good news:

Thanks to poor placement (i.e., anywhere on the body of a Sasquatch), this Batman symbol tattoo will soon be so-overgrown with distractingly-thick-and-curly hair that it won’t occur to anyone to think that the “dripping” effect was a terrible, terrible idea.

4) The Sad Little Asymmetrical Batman Symbol Back Tattoo

Source

“I couldn’t decide between making my Batman tattoo too small, too lopsided, or too boring, so I went with all three. And then put it in a really conspicuous place in the middle of my back. … Now where’s that trophy for winning at life that you promised me?”

3) The Tribal Batman Symbol Tramp Stamp

Source

Hey, maybe you can make your Batman symbol tramp stamp even more tribal next time… because this time, you stopped just short of a white-trash explosion, and that’s something we all need to see. For science!

(Sorry, I realize “tramp stamp” is kind of offensive. What I meant was, “mark of the ho.”)

2) The S&M Batman Symbol Chest Tattoo

Source

One of the best-executed Batman symbol tattoos on the list is also one of the most difficult to behold.

Unless you’re into this kind of thing. In which case, I don’t judge… but mostly because I don’t want you to whip me with your leather switch.

1) The Gotham City Bats Tattoo

Source

So lifelike and horrifying that I think I just caught rabies from looking at it.

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But of course I imagine it could also be the speed his daddy was going when he hit the wall at Daytona. From what I’ve heard, rednecks like to memorialize these things with tattoos. And beer. Lots of beer.

Via Whitney Matheson, who doesn’t think it’s cool to generalize about NASCAR fans. Unless we’re making jokes about illiteracy. In which case, it’s all good.

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For example, instead of going out and buying yourself a Spider-Man costume, you can simply go dressed as a short-sighted twat.

Via Ugliest Tattoos, who thinks that last statement was redundant, as twats are already known for their poor vision.

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Via Reddit, who thinks the oldest Jonas will have the last laugh.

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I’ve got three words for you: Not. Committed. Enough.

Via Geekologie, who thinks that Stormtrooper is going to be terribly disappointed when he finds out he’s got blue streamers coming out of his blaster.

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Oh, wait a tick. NO ONE LIKES MY LITTLE PONY THIS MUCH.

Photo Credit: Joseph Kozar Jr.

Via Buzzfeed, who thinks you’re not so much “crying” for attention as much as you are “bleating like a stuck pig” for attention.

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Because I’d never let you plaster a giant Twilight tattoo across your back. And if somehow you managed to get one, anyway, I’d never post a photo of it on my blog. Much.

• Oh, no. It’s back, and it has grown. #HorrificTwilightTattoo http://bit.ly/eTlCNd
• Vampire fangs are the new tramp stamp. Either way, your future children will think you’re an idiot. http://bit.ly/e4fzt1
• Yeah, I can see why some of you take this show so seriously.#StarTrek http://bit.ly/fP76xX
• “These aren’t the _______* you’re looking for. Move along.” *breasts #SFW #StarWars http://bit.ly/fGo3Qp
• A Comic-Con parade? Aren’t the 120k sweaty nerds in San Diego in July enough of a spectacle, already? http://j.mp/dWVDBo

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And I deduct 100 points for failing at life.

Via Ugliest Tattoos, who will give all of his points back if you’d just stop making him look at that pierced nipple.

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Via Look at this Frakking Geekster, who’s filing this tattoo by Jess Versus under, “This is so wrong… it’s right.”

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