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My absence from the blog was due to my starting a new long-term occupational engagement which requires the full attention of all of my considerable resources, including my devastating handsomeness, fresh scent, and keen smartiness.

So what does this mean for the blog? Well, first, I shan’t be posting multiple, short posts per day any longer. However! I will devote hours of my weekends–when the batteries powering my physical attractiveness must be replenished–to generating longer-form content like The Top Twelve Awful Twilight Tattoos, The Top Five Green Lantern Costumes Gone Wrong, and The Top Five Awful R2-D2 Cakes. I’ll release this content over the course of the work week; you can expect at least one or two of these lists per week, plus some other goodies as I have time, energy, and the desire to placate you.

Anyway, I’m excited about this evolution of the blog, and am glad you are joining me for it. I’d love to hear from you in the comments with your thoughts. Especially if your thoughts are dominated by adoration and a compelling desire to send me money. (U.S. DOLLARS, ONLY!)

And remember… I love you. For loving me.

And by “slower,” I mean, “possibly nonexistent.”

But, look! Here’s a picture of Calvin and Hobbes-inspired snowmen impaled on the Ellifrett Structure at the University of Wyoming. Now your simple mind has been distracted from its previously-distraught state by an object of delight. Too easy.

Anyway. Keep an eye on the GWS Twitter profile or GWS Facebook Page, as I’ll be more likely to post there in short bursts during my travels.

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But dry those tears, honey-muffin, I’ll be back in the new year with a vengeance. And by “vengeance,” I mean I’ll continue to act irrationally-vengefully towards Star Trek and all of its ridiculousness.

Happy holidays, people! Have an excellent new year!

OR ELSE.

-GWS

Because I’ll never take humiliating pictures of you with your favorite stuffed Pokemon. Dork.

• And this is what virginity looks like. http://bit.ly/bHddHo
• Brains for only $0.25. And conveniently available via the drive-thru. http://bit.ly/hFJSuM
• Generally I’m pretty happy when a girl takes her shirt off, but… http://bit.ly/em60sc (SFW)
• Winner of a thread titled, “What was the dumbest thing that ended your relationship?” (Spoiler: SHUNNED STAR WARS.) http://bit.ly/e1J9fB
• “Original big-screen Buffy hopes to be part of Whedon-less reboot” My comment: “Derp. Derp.” http://bit.ly/fezDO3

Find rare Pokemon cards on Ebay

Because I’ll never fry an Ewok who isn’t asking for it. (Special note: most of them are asking for it.)

• You can finally kill Ewoks in The Force Unleashed 2. Enjoy the screen shots: http://bit.ly/9gfdF1
• The NAMBLA recut of Harry Potter. This is very, very wrong. Which makes it great. http://bit.ly/cGP1jE
• “Jar Jar Binks killed Grandma.” http://bzfd.it/cwnmx5
• Survey says River Tam would kick Chuck Norris’s ass. So… America isn’t completely off its rocker. http://bit.ly/9YCQNQ
• Indoor shooting range simulates a zombie invasion for the best Halloween ever. http://bit.ly/9T6QLF

Find vintage Ewok figures on Ebay

Because I’ll never scald your eyes with pictures of scantily-clad space-crustaceOH NO IT’S TOO LATE!

• Admiral Ackbar as a pinup. It’s, uh… yeah. http://bit.ly/acq214
• Best use of the Inception theme, ever? Why, yes… it is. http://bit.ly/9t1bfM
• Friends… forever. http://bit.ly/b4RXFR
• This is where X-Men go. http://bit.ly/cQCB8g
• Arbitrary Vader appearances are arbitrary. http://bit.ly/d53Dac

Find Admiral Ackbar t-shirts on Ebay

Because I’ll never infect your favorite character actor with a zombie virus. Unless you ask me nicely.

• The Walken Dead. (GET IT?) http://bit.ly/aZd5d1
• George Takei makes “douchebag” sound like poetry. http://bit.ly/cvrO7Q
• Ok. I think I’ve found the definitive JAPAN, WTF?! of the week. http://bit.ly/a1l6fC
• BEST. RETRACTION. EVER. http://bit.ly/aQcbx6
• Something tells me neither Marvel nor DC is getting royalties for this. http://bit.ly/b78pGB

Find the Zombie Brain Jell-O Mold on Amazon

Because I’ll never set a thieving Jawa loose in your neighborhood.

• Little kids in Jawa costumes never gets old. http://bit.ly/b7GRZ6
• BRAAAAAAAAAAAAM http://bit.ly/al1SEV
• Jesus Baby just got really, *really* good. http://bit.ly/dsaK1t
• Watch out for this guy at the Stewart/Colbert rally this weekend. He’s got nothing useful to say. http://bit.ly/9uXS5S
• Everyone’s excited about this guy’s Halloween lights decorations. Except for his neighbor. http://bit.ly/cYNG5v

Find Jawa costumes on Ebay

Because all my pie charts taste like pumpkin pie, just in time for the holidays.

• Knowing is what percentage of the battle, again? http://bit.ly/cj23pU
• I realize that Han and Chewie are the Bo and Luke Duke of the galaxy, but I still don’t care for this. http://bit.ly/bbnYwi
• Han Solo in Jell-O carbonite. So unartfully done, but automatically funny thanks to the Jell-O. http://bit.ly/cv9BN8
• Parkour Dog loves parkour. http://bit.ly/dmeGd9

Find custom G.I. Joe figures on Ebay

Because in the movie version of your life, I’ll never have the actor playing you replaced by a chimp.

• I still love it that Yoda was almost played by a monkey. THIS monkey. http://bit.ly/d5iXfK
• A state of nirvana. As presented by Cookie Monster.http://bit.ly/cJNIG2
• Princess Leia did lots of blow on the Hoth set of Empire Strikes Back. Make “snow” jokes now or forever hold your peace http://bit.ly/bCJku4
• HA! Terminator graffiti, IRL. (Damn kids.) http://bit.ly/dg7Swa
• Walking Dead plushies. http://bit.ly/aHAr4i

Find plush Yoda toys on Ebay