Anderson: We need to get more exposure for our act. We should make a viral video.

Roe: Yeah, but we play the piano. No one cares about pianos. I mean, sure, we play our pianos rather vehemently, but… still.

Anderson: What if we played a Star Wars song? The internet gobbles up that kind of sh*t.

Roe: Good point. I’m sure if we post a YouTube video of our playing “The Imperial March,” some hapless geek blogger will immediately post it, for fear of someone else posting it first. The rules of blogging can only work in our favor.

Anderson: Indeed. And then some kid on Tumblr will pick it up, and–because it’s something quirky having to do with Star Wars–it’ll get reposted and reposted like some kind of virtual circle-jerk. We just have to sit back and enjoy the publicity.

Roe: Does everyone know about this formula? ‘Cause it seems like more people would be doing it, if it were so obvious.

Anderson: Five words for you: George Lucas lives for royalties.

Roe: Oh, right. Well. He’d never come after a couple of innocent-faced kids like us, would he?

[Lightning strike]

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Today’s good news is that a full nine minutes of footage from Robot have hit the intertubules (complete with commentary in Russian!*), and it’s got Japan looking over its shoulder in the International Batshit Relay Race. You can check out the footage, below.

Further, enjoy these quotes from the Robot press kit, which clearly sprang from the same spring of 18o-proof ambrosia that fueled the director of the film:

Mission – creating a andro-humanoid robot – Chitti

Andro-humanoid robot? That’s basically like an android, but with a lot more syllables, right?

Purpose – to help the society

And, apparently, to break lots of shit in the process.

Development time – 10 years

Well. Andro-humanoid robot development doesn’t happen overnight.

Configurations – speed one terra hz, memory one zeta byte, processor Pentium ultra core millennia V2, FHP 450 motor from Hirata, Japan

A Pentium? You loaded this thing up with “one zeta byte” of memory, and didn’t bother to upgrade the processor to a model manufactured after the 1990s?

Oh, well. I guess the good news is that your andro-humanoid robot is powered by a motor featured in the power seats of many popular automobiles.

Special Features – A human who is not born but is created. He can dance, sing, fight, is water and fire resistant. He can do all that a human can do and more. He feeds on electricity. He takes instructions literally. Where a human can lie to save himself this andro-humanoid robot Chitti cannot lie.

Of course he can’t lie. His Pentium barely has enough computing power to operate a set of elevator doors as it is.

Trouble shooting – Where he has a razor sharp memory and can memorize an entire telephone directory by just running through the pages, he cannot understand human emotions. Dr. Vasi upgrades Chitti’s processor and simulates human emotions without realizing the repercussions. Chitti gets transformed. He can now feel, and the first feeling that he discovers is Love.

OF COURSE IT IS.

Via LikeCool, who thinks Chitti’s processor was obviously upgraded to a Core 2 Duo, which sports that fancy “feelings” technology.

* Which is like the salmon garnish on a raisin-and-sauerkraut sandwich.

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Just remember these four words: “I’ll make you famous.”

And, no, you shouldn’t mention to her that your elaborate exercise in cosplay has no chance of becoming her “breakout role.”

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If not, I have just the merciless barrage of over-exuberant fanboyism for you, in the form of Matt Mulholland performing the Ghostbusters theme song in 14 part harmony (with himself).

Via Unique Daily, who has never before been driven to file assault charges after an a cappella performance.

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Or, more specifically, make a Death Star trench run out of your shoveled front sidewalk.

Or make Sno-cones out of road salt. Whatever. Just keep your damn dog off my lawn.

Via Reddit, who’s going to use his targeting computer, because the Force is just a bunch of little microorganisms, anyway, and since when can microorganisms aim proton torpedoes?

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Regardless, it took a special kind of ninja video-editing skill to recut this trailer for Ghostbusters, set to that aforementioned music, and have it result in something so bloody spectacular. (Ok, ok… 17% short of “bloody spectacular,” but still really damn good.)

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Much as the protagonist in Kick-Ass did, he roams the streets of his city looking for evildoers to thwart.

And much as the protagonist in Kick-Ass did, he gets his ass kicked quite a bit:

Phoenix said since he started his crime-fighting crusade nine months ago, he’s been stabbed, and had a gun pulled on him a few times, but received no serious injuries.

This can only end badly. But, hey! Look! A cosplayer roaming around outside, with nary a nerd convention in sight!

Via The Daily What, who thinks what this guy is doing is quite noble. In a ridiculous and stupid sort of way.

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You know, I’d judge this guy for spending considerable time learning how to play his hands like a semi-melodic, farty instrument, but I bet he’ll be laughing last when the apocalypse comes and all conventional instruments are consumed by the conflagration. I just be he will.

Via Unique Daily, who always knew that hand farts would feature prominently in the apocalypse.

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Fringe‘s premiere episode on that date is even titled, “Firefly,” ’cause, hey… shout-out, girrrrrrl!

Anyway, here’s a recut of the Fringe opening credits in the style of Firefly that some clever nerd made. It’s jarring and strange to see these two properties mushed together, but you’ll love it anyway. Because you are (a) a geek, and (b) easily amused.

Via Reddit, who has made a career out of “jarring and strange.”

* Although I’m sure an ardent nerd would love to tell me how I’m wrong.

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