Smallville Is Casting – The Hot and Talentless Are Welcome
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009Pete of /Film knows of my ongoing love/loathe/love relationship with Smallville, and I’m pretty sure he regards it with a level of incredulity and amusement normally reserved for any sci-fi film starring Marky Mark. And justifiably so.
Anyway, no surprise that Pete thought of me and provided the heads-up when he spotted this ad on another [...]
The Supporting Characters Who Couldn’t Handle the Pressure. Or the Head Trauma. – Smallville Comedy
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008Sure, Lex Luthor did finally bail on Smallville after seven seasons, but only after he had sustained more bodily damage than a human can withstand without resembling a bowl of lumpy mashed potatoes. (The kind with little, chewy bits of potato skin in it.)
Other supporting characters from Smallville didn’t share his resilience. Or his burning, [...]
Lois Lane Drowns. A Lot. – Smallville Comedy
Sunday, October 26th, 2008When you watch this wince-inducing video of Lois Lane’s history of injuries during her four full seasons on Smallville, try to forget that she gets stabbed… and dies. (At 2:38 in the video.) And forget that her lungs are more waterlogged than the grand dining room of Titanic, thanks to unfortunate and multiple drowning [...]
Lionel Luthor Had the Evil Beat Right Out of Him – Smallville Comedy
Sunday, October 19th, 2008Ah, Lionel Luthor. A.k.a., The Magnificent Bastard. A.k.a., The Glorious Bastard. I noticed as I was compiling this video of his injuries, abuses, and mishaps over his seven seasons on Smallville that the intensity of his evil diminished in proportion to how much physical damage he sustained.
Consider this: he goes all but unscathed until the [...]
Chloe Sullivan, Loyal Friend and Human Crash-Test Dummy – Smallville Comedy
Sunday, October 12th, 2008Poor, long-suffering Chloe Sullivan. Out of all of the heavily-abused people who have circled Clark Kent’s orbit–Lana, Pete, Lex, Lionel, Mama Kent, Papa Kent–Chloe’s the only one still hanging around, patiently awaiting her next strangulation. Or beat-down. Or car crash. Or fall off a building. Or exploding house.
Whatever. She can totally list Doing impressions [...]
How Did Jonathan Kent Last as Long as He Did? – Smallville Comedy
Monday, October 6th, 2008Poor Jonathan Kent. Sure, Clark Kent’s dad’s maladies over the five seasons he spent on Smallville didn’t quite approach the variety, quantity, and potential lethality of the injuries suffered by Lex Luthor. But everyone knows that a diet high in moralistic platitudes is the third-biggest cause of heart disease after (1) smoking and [...]
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