It’s been so long since I identified the original Top Five Awful Death Star Cakes, amateur cake-makers have had ample time to produce a new crop of horrible confectionery likenesses of the Imperial battle station from Star Wars.
So, time to refresh the list and insult the well-intentioned work of some lovely people. Because pettiness is a language we can all agree on.
That’s not a Death Star cake. That’s a wicker-person’s hand picking up a Fabergé egg knockoff from a shelf the Dollar Store.
Bonus hilarity: “coolest-birthday-cakes.com” has unironically laid claim to the photo. Way to set the “cool” bar low enough for someone to trip over, coolest-birthday-cakes.com.
This is how I imagine Earth looked after massive tectonic shifts broke Pangea apart.
(I should mention that my imagination has the processing power of an 8-bit Nintendo.)
That’s no moon. That’s a space station. That’s been attacked by a Bedazzler.
Proof that if you slather your cake with poo-like features, it will attract flies. Shaped like space ships.
No, dear. A simple two-layer cake with a sinkhole does not a “Death Star cake” make.
Find Star Wars desserts and other recipes in Wookiee Cookies: A Star Wars Cookbook.
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