Good thing Lex Luthor lives in the detached-from-reality comic book world of Smallville. Otherwise, by now his shiny, tender head would have roughly the consistency of chewed-up veal flank. He collects critical injuries like investment bank CEOs run their companies into the ground; that is, without any apparent long-term personal consequences.
This kicks off a series of posts in which I’ll chronicle the long and ridiculous histories of violent traumas suffered by the characters of Smallville.
So, enjoy these short videos. This is one of those times you’re supposed to laugh at someone else’s pain.
The producers Smallville were trying their darndest to kill off Lex long before actor Michael Rosenbaum took his leave of the show.
- (1 time) shot in the head
- (2) shot in the chest
- (1) shot in the chest by an arrow
- (1) caught in explosion
- (1) drowned
- (1) plane crash
- (3) stabbed (once in the gut, twice in the chest)
- (6) strangled
- (1) car collision
- (4) struck in the head by a frying pan, sword handle, glass bottle, or motorcyle helmet
- (5) pistol whipped
- (7) dropped head-first to the floor
- (4) Super-shoved into a wall
- (1) thrown out of a speeding car
- (2) struck in the back with a glass bottle or baton
- (4) knocked out against a wall
- (2) thrown head-first into a wall (not knocked out)
- (1) jumped through a 2nd-story window
- (5) thrown through a glass table
- (6) thrown across a room into furniture
- (2) tazered
- (6) struck in the gut
- (13) punched in the face
- (2) caught in the glass of an exploding window
- (3) stuck in the neck by a syringe filled with a knock-out toxin
- (2) electro-shock / electric torture
- (3) poisoned (by gas or otherwise)
- (1) zapped by a lab experiment gone awry
- (1) shot by a tranquilizer dart
- (1) shot in the arm
- (1) shoved through a barn wall
Finally, they had to drop a Fortress of Solitude on him. We’ll see if it sticks.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, Lex chalks up his mind-boggling resilience to sheer force of will:
That’s right. You too can survive gunshots to the head through the power of positive thinking! Hoo-ah!
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